Unwanted Sacrifice
by zeilfanaat
Summary: A Rescue with a friend of the family in trouble. Will everyone make it? Character Death. Don't read it if you don't like those. Last chapter is up!
1. A Friend of the Family

**Unwanted Sacrifice** _By Zeilfanaat_

_Disclaimer: The Thunderbirds are not mine, I'm just borrowing the characters. I might even return some of them. :evil grin: Anyway, they do belong to Gerry Anderson and Carlton Television, I think. _

_Summary: A 'friend' of the family is in danger, and one of our heroes might turn more blue than he already is._

_Ratings: General. _

_Warning: **Character Death**. If you don't like those, don't read this story. _

_A/N: Please read and review. This is my first Thunderbird fanfic. Thanks to White Rose01 for pushing me... White Rose, you've just been given another means of communicating, and it's called 'review'. _

**Chapter 1: a friend of the family**

"Calling International Rescue. Calling International Rescue. Please come in."

Alan hurried towards the control panel. He was only here for 10 minutes, and already there was an emergency. And Scott and John were barely on their way back to Earth.

"International Rescue here. Who are you, and what is the emergency?" Alan responded.

"This is Space Shuttle 278, we are on our way to Space Station 39, our craft is not responding to any commands and we are running out of oxygen."

"How many people are there on-board?" Alan asks, noting everything down. Something was familiar. If only he could put his finger on it.

"Five in total. Three men, two women. Can you help us?"

"We will. Don't worry, I'll come back to you on this frequency."

"OK, over and out."

The communications between the two crafts was broken and Alan called base, also having an open link to Thunderbird 3.

"Go ahead, Alan." Jeff said in his usual voice. Virgil, Gordon, Brains, Tin- Tin, Kyrano and Grandmother were all in the living room, since they were just having a cup of tea, so naturally, they all heard what was going on.

"I've gotten a call from a space shuttle that was on its way to their space station. Their shuttle doesn't respond to any commands and they are running out of oxygen."

Jeff thought about it for a short time, then said: "OK, John, Scott, turn Thunderbird 3 around."

John nodded, "F.A.B. father." And he turned the red space craft around. "You have all the equipment needed on-board, don't you?"

Again John nodded. "We have 6 space suits with oxygen bottles. I would prefer to have more, but it is sufficient."

Jeff nodded. Usually Scott was field-leader, but in space, when John was the one handling Thunderbird 3, John took over that role. They had talked about that, and found it was more logical, since John knew just about everything there was to know about space and space-rescues. Scott had had his share, but it was just more efficient to have John handle the rescues in space. However when Alan was the one on Thunderbird 3, Scott was still the field-leader. Alan was too impulsive.

"Alan, what's the name of the shuttle, where was it heading, and what course?" John asked in his professional voice.

Alan looked at his notes again. "Space Shuttle 278, heading towar- John? Are you all right?" Everyone had heard John suck in breath.

Scott looked at the pilot of the Thunderbird. "John?"

It only took a second for John to pull himself together, and with a monotone voice he said: "It's Nicole's transport."

Gasps throughout the whole family could be heard. John leaned forward a bit, and punched in a couple of co-ordinates. Alan got his voice back. "They were going to space station thir-" Again he was interrupted.

"Thirty-nine, I know everything to the detail Alan."

Alan swallowed and nodded. "OK, John."

Now the rest of the family had gotten over the initial shock too. Tin-Tin clung onto her father, as Alan wasn't there. Scott kept quiet as he watched his younger brother increase the speed of the Thunderbird. He couldn't decipher any emotion on the blonde man's face. It was probably for the best. John knew he had a job to do, so he forced all emotions back, and thought of the best way to do the job.

Jeff broke the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.

"John, are you OK with this?"

For a moment John let his emotions show and he answered in a soft voice: "No, I'm not OK with Nicole being on a space ship that is out of control and that is running out of oxygen." Quickly pushing his emotions back again he added: "So we'd better make sure they're out of there quickly."

Jeff nodded. "OK, keep me updated."

"FAB father." Scott answered.

"Base out."

_A/N: hi, anyone out there? Anyone reading this? Well, if you are, I bet you're wondering about who this Nicole is. Please review and let me know what you think. (or where the mistakes are.)_


	2. To the Rescue

**Chapter 2: To the rescue**

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews!! Here's the next chapter. Every necessary info you'll find in the first chapter. Please read and review!_

_A/N2: Due to a stupid mistake I made (you'll read more about it in chapter 4 which is in process at the moment) I changed this chapter slightly._

Scott stared at his brother in amazement. He had always thought that _he_ had pushed the red bird to its limit, but compared to what John got out of the big machine, _his_ limit was just the 'normal speed'.

The eldest Tracy-brother didn't know how John did it, but somehow he managed to get the best out of machines... out of everything actually, including people.

Looking at his oldest sibling now, he looked just like he normally did. Calm, rational, and concentrated. The only difference was that this time, he was paler, and his features were more serious, if that was possible. Scott worried a lot about his younger brothers, but he wasn't the only one who worried. And at least Scott could actually _do_ something in a rescue. He knew that John worried at least as much as him, being in Thunderbird 5 a lot of the time, not able to do anything but be the one to relay information, and the calm voice of reason through the whole process. Scott knew he wouldn't be able to do that.

He once had to though. Alan had been having a bad case of the flu and had to stay home, and John had been on his honeymoon with Nicole. Someone had to be in Thunderbird 5. Since Gordon hated space and had never been able to handle it very well and Virgil wasn't very far behind in that subject, Scott had been the obvious choice.

Luckily there had only been one, fairly simple rescue, but Scott had been worrying non-stop right from the beginning. And he knew that his worry had somehow transferred over the open communication link to Virgil, Gordon and Brains. They had sounded more nervous than usual.

Later Virgil had told him that he had sensed that Scott was worrying and nervous and that just because of that, he had become nervous too.

Since then, Scott's respect for both John and Alan had increased. Both had to go through that experience often, Alan to a lesser extent than John. And they still managed to stay calm... or at least appear calm.

It was always comforting to hear the voice of John through the com-link when things didn't go as fast as expected, or not as good as expected. John managed to instil comfort and hope when the situation seemed hopeless. Did he realize what a great job he was doing? Scott knew that John didn't think his job within International Rescue was very important. Yes, necessary, but not important. And Alan didn't appear to think so either. Alan always loved being where the action was, more than relaying information through the space station. And because he somehow managed to be less on Thunderbird 5 than on Earth, he didn't have to deal with the helplessness as much as John.

Sometimes Scott wondered why Alan had become an astronaut. He didn't even like space. He loved the speed at which Thunderbird 3 could go through space, but the actual vacant darkness with its mysterious lights didn't appeal to the youngest member of the family.

Virgil didn't like space much either and Gordon detested it, even though he went up about once a year to help John with certain updates.

Such updates required two people in Thunderbird 5 and two people on base.

John would be in Thunderbird 5. He knew the machines. Every button, every wire. He and Brains had built the space station together.

Brains and Tin Tin were both needed on base.

Alan, even though he was an astronaut, only knew the necessary procedures for if something needed an update, or needed repair, and not for major ones like these, and therefore was not the ideal person to help John with the updates.

Scott, even though he was great with flying everything that could fly, did not understand the complicated things that John would need assistance with.

Virgil, for all his knowledge about machinery, did not qualify either for the job, as the job would need more precision than Virgil could muster.

Gordon however, knew more about the systems on board Thunderbird 5 because some systems were the same or similar to those on board Thunderbird 4. Which was also the reason that John helped Gordon with updates on Thunderbird 4.

Scott was shaken from his thoughts as John broke the silence.

"Thunderbird 3 calling Thunderbird 5."

"Thunderbird 5 to Thunderbird 3, receiving you loud and clear." Alan's voice came back.

"We are approaching space shuttle 278. ETA, 6 minutes."

"OK Thunderbird 3, report when you've decided on an approach."

"FAB Thunderbird 5, Thunderbird 3 out."

John looked at his older brother. "I figured that you keep Thunderbird 3 steady, next to the shuttle, and I go there with 5 oxygen bottles."

"And you use the 6th?"

John nodded. "There are five people on board. They are running out of oxygen... although I do wonder what happened to their own oxygen bottles."

John punched in a couple of buttons. "International Rescue calling space shuttle 278. International Rescue calling space shuttle 278. Do you read?"

"We read you loud and clear."

"Our ETA is 4 minutes. Can you please tell me whether your oxygen bottles are still intact?"

The man's voice came back. "No, we had a small explosion in the room where we kept the oxygen bottles and space suits. We've tried to fix some of the control systems, but there's too much damage to fix enough to get it on the right course again, or back to Earth, I'm afraid."

"Are there any wounded?"

"No, luckily no-one was in the room where the explosion occurred at that time. Although now we're afraid that the whole thing might explode, probably not too long after the oxygen runs out."

John stored this new information.

"OK, here's the plan. My colleague will keep our ship next to yours. I'll come over with oxygen flasks to get you out. Do you know for how long you still have oxygen?"

The man asked something to someone else that the two Tracy boys couldn't make out, and then said: "We have 11 minutes."

John nodded. "OK, we're coming alongside within one minute. Please all go to the air lock, and wait for me to arrive."

"OK, understood."

"International Rescue, out." The communication was broken and the red space ship adopted the speed of the 278 as it was in the right position. John turned to Scott.

"Your turn." He attempted a smile and got one in return.

"Thanks, John. Good luck and keep in contact."

John nodded. "Give Alan an update on the situation."

"We'll do."

Scott squeezed Johns arm as he brushed past. John looked at Scott again and nodded. Then John turned and went to change into the space suit.

Scott thought about the moment that just occurred. It didn't happen very often that the two of them were on a rescue in the same craft. Understanding had passed between the two of them as they had looked at each other those two seconds. John knew Scott was worried. And Scott knew that John knew.

"Scott? I'm going out now."

"FAB."

_A/N: That's it for now. I'll try and post the next chapter before I go on my two-week holiday... I won't be able to post from a sailing boat, now will I? : Anyway, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to, but I'm going to try. Please review!!_


	3. The Next Step The Final Step?

**Chapter 3: The next step... the final step?**

_A/N: OK, it obviously didn't work... I couldn't post before my sailing holidays, but I wrote you a nice, long chapter... Hope you'll enjoy!_

John had reached the air lock, and said through the radio link with the people on board the space shuttle: "OK, I'm here. Open the outside door."

Almost immediately the door opened. John inwardly sighed. Luckily they didn't have to cut through the door. That would probably have killed the crew faster than the explosion itself. Since the crew didn't have oxygen flasks, they would suffocate before John would be able to give them their oxygen flasks. Fortunately it hadn't come to that.

The door behind John closed, and the one before him opened.

"Thunderbird 3. I'm in."

"Understood."

John saw all five people in the small space. His eyes searched immediately for his wife. Their eyes met, and they both had to fight the urge to run over to each other and hold the other tightly.

But there was no time. They had about 5.5 minutes left. John quickly handed the people the oxygen flasks. They all wore their space suits, for which John was grateful, although he had counted on that.

Without another moment to lose he explained. "OK, we can't all go at once. The airlock of this craft is too small to hold 6 people at once. It can hold 4 people maximum."

John looked at the five people in front of him.

The other woman looked scared, but she seemed to keep her emotions under a close tap. Two of the men seemed healthy scared, but the third one was very nervous, and looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown.

The man who appeared to be the oldest took one look at his nervous colleague and then at the rescue agent.

"OK, well, Susan, Nicole, Terry and Nick should go first then." He said, pointing at the others. The nervous, and obviously youngest person violently shook his head.

"NO! Don't leave me Martin!" The man was in obvious distress. The oldest man, Martin, looked again at him and saw that if he didn't want the man to accidentally kill himself, or get lost in space, he would have to bring him over there himself.

"People, we have to move quickly. Time is running out." John said, having looked at his watch, which indicated they still had 5 minutes.

Nicole seemed to have come to a decision.

"OK, Martin, you take the rest. I'll go with this man. Now hurry up. We don't want to be around this thing once it blows up."

Martin looked like he was going to disagree, and John didn't look too happy either, but both kept their mouth shut. This was not the time, nor the place to have a discussion.

So Susan and the three men went into the airlock and were on their way to Thunderbird 3. John quickly filled Scott in on the situation, thinking in the mean while about what would happen if they couldn't get away from the space shuttle in time. Thunderbird 3 might be damaged or even totally vanish in the explosion. He turned to Nicole who had suddenly been very interested in her oxygen flask.

"What is it?" John asked worried.

"I... I'm not sure. The oxygen level in this flask seems to be very low. In fact, I believe it's decreasing."

John looked at it disbelievingly. "What? It shouldn't. We had them checked out not long ago!"

Nicole nodded. She remembered him telling her. "But obviously there's a leak in here."

John looked at the meter of the oxygen flask and grimaced. There was not enough oxygen left to last the trip to Thunderbird 3. John quickly reviewed every angle of the situation, and made a decision. Taking off his oxygen flask, he instructed Nicole to do the same.

"Give that oxygen flask to me." Nicole did as he asked, not really grasping what he was about to do.

"Wh-Why?" The moment she said it, realization dawned. "NO! John, you can't do this!!"

John, who had been expecting this reaction, took her shoulders gently, but firmly, and looked down at his wife.

"Nicole... I'll have to." He said quietly, looking her straight in the eyes. Nicole didn't want to acknowledge that fact, but knew she was running out of time... But then this... this might- would be the last time she ever spoke to her husband! She didn't want that!

Scott's voice broke the silence.

"Thunderbird 3, calling field commander. What's taking you so long?"

"In a moment Scott." John answered without taking his eyes off his wife.

Scott blinked as heard something in Johns voice which he couldn't quite place. It made him back off though. For the moment.

"I... I never would've guessed we would have to say... go-goodbye under these circumstances." Nicole managed to croak out.

Taking her in his arms, John said: "Neither did I sweetheart, neither did I. But I'm afraid we'll have to." John was quiet for a moment, and then continued. "Nicole, I want you to do something for me. Please continue living, be happy... don't dwell on my... my death." He had to swallow as he said the last two words.

Nicole shook her head. "Don't ask me to do that! I can't live without you! Knowing I'm responsible."

"Nicole! You are not responsible! Please remember that. It could have happened to anyone. Please. I'll always be here. In your heart." Holding her a little further away he sighed. "It's time."

Neither wanted to let go, but finally they had to. Both tried to keep the tears at bay. (_A/N: an expression I thought I once heard, please tell me if it's right!)_

Then Nicole seemed to gather her strength. "OK, I will live for you. Don't you dare leave me though!" She added, attempting to clear some of the tension.

He leaned down, she reached up, and they shared a short, but passionate kiss.

"I won't." John whispered.

The oxygen level in the space ship itself was noticeably decreasing too. It wouldn't be long, or John would need to use the leaking oxygen flask. Nicole closed her helmet, and with a last look John opened the hatch, and closed it after Nicole had gone in.

Once he was sure she had made it out and was on her way to Thunderbird 3, he looked at his watch again. Two minutes. He had better call in to Scott. Walking to the machine room where he made a quick adjustment in the electric circuit, he called in.

"Thunderbird 3. Come in please."

"What's going on?" Scott asked immediately. "The thing is going to blow some time soon! Where are you?"

"Nicole's oxygen flask had a leak. We switched. There wasn't enough oxygen in it to make it to Thunderbird 3. Nicole is on her way now. I'm on board the space shuttle."

John was now walking up to the control room.

"What do you mean?! John, are you telling me, that you're staying on a space ship which could explode any second now?" Scott asked, the panic quickly starting to increase.

"Yes." John was already getting trouble with breathing. He was trying to keep his breathing steady so he wouldn't waste too much oxygen.

"Now, Scott, listen. I'll try to turn this ship away from Thunderbird 3, so the explosion won't hit you with a damaging force." John was now seated in the pilot seat, orientating himself with the skills of the expert he was. He had to use the oxygen flask now. The oxygen level around him had dropped to zero, and the oxygen flask was not giving him much time either. John started to turn the ship. It listened reluctantly to John's commands, but it did turn away from Thunderbird 3.

"But, but what about Nicole, what about International Rescue? What about us?" Scott hadn't recovered from the initial shock yet, but he did notice that the ship was turning away from them. Realization hit. It wasn't some sort of bad dream. John really was still on that ship. Looking at his watch he saw they still had about 30 seconds before the whole thing would explode.

"Scott." The apparent difficulty with which John spoke, made Scott suddenly very aware of the oxygen problem on board. "Could you tell...everyone I love them... to continue with their lives...don- don't blame this on anyone... ... Scott?"

Scott sat in silence, unable to digest all this. This just couldn't be happening! Then he regained control over his tongue.

"I will John. And John. I... We all love you. Don't you forget!" Scott was fighting the tears. "John?" He waited, but all he could hear was silence. He looked again. Thunderbird 3 would almost be out of the critical zone and Nicole was close by.

"John!! Please! Come in!" John had probably just passed out from lack of oxygen. Yeah, that was probably it. He wasn't dead. He wasn't! Somewhere in the back of his mind, Scott knew that it was too late, that he was denying the truth. But he couldn't yet force himself to acknowledge it, and neither did he want to.

Nicole was now in the airlock of Thunderbird 3 and about to close the door, never taking her eyes off the space ship that was increasing the distance between them.

The 278 was consumed in the explosion. The force of it threw Nicole against the back wall of the airlock before she had had a chance of closing the door.

Feeling numb she looked at the place where once the shuttle had been. The shuttle she had been on. The shuttle where John had been on when it exploded!

All she wanted to do was crumble on the floor, there and then, but something stopped her, and she realized she still had to close the door.

She closed it, and then entered the familiar red Thunderbird. Making her way up into the control room where she knew Scott would be, she blocked out any emotion. Her colleagues didn't know who International Rescue consisted of, and they didn't know who had just...died. They didn't even know _someone_ had died!!

Scott didn't look up when Nicole entered the room. In a monotone, professional voice he said:

"Could you do an onboard scan to see whether we have encountered any damage in the explosion." It wasn't really a question. Nicole obliged.

"No damage, might need a new paint layer. The expl- explosion was far enough away to do any real damage."

Scott nodded.

"I ehm, I suppose I should go down to tell the crew what happened." Nicole said quietly. Only now did Scott look at her.

The initial shock was gone. "Yeah, go tell them what happened. Go tell them. 'Hey, that guy that came to rescue us. He died in the explosion. My oxygen bottle didn't work, so he gave me his and stayed on board. Shame isn't it. Yeah well, it's only a rescue agent. They are used to these kind of things. One person more or less, doesn't make a difference. So, where's the champagne?'"

Nicole looked shell shocked. "Wha-What? Scott, how dare you!! Yeah, you lost a brother! Well, you're not the only one who lost someone! Your whole family lost a member, and _they_ don't even know it yet! How about that! Isn't it time to call in? Well, is it? And for your information, I just lost my husband! Do you think I would like to toast on that? I don't think so! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to my crew. They're probably waiting for me now." With that Nicole stormed out of the room.

Scott looked lost. The anger that had been forcing the sadness away for a couple of minutes diminished. Instead the sadness, mixed with shame, hit with double force, as he realized what he had said.

Pushing the emotions aside, as John had not very long ago, he called in to base.

The moment Jeff saw his eldest son's face he paled. He had been having a weird feeling for a while now. "Scott! What happened? What's wrong?"

"Dad..." taking a deep breath to keep himself from breaking down he continued, trying not to look at his family. "John. He died in the explosion."

"What?!" "No!" "John?"

Gordon, who had been standing next to the desk, went as white as a sheet and collapsed on the floor, leaning against his father's desk.

Jeff was already seated, which was probably a good thing, because right now, he didn't look like he would be able to even stay in his seat, not to mention stand.

Tin-Tin cried on her father's shoulder. Kyrano stroked her head, trying to calm both of them down.

Brains had closed his eyes, trying to tell him this was a nightmare and he was going to wake up soon.

Grandma looked at Scott who was finally looking up into the room. Tears were starting to form on his cheeks, even though he tried to keep them away. "My goodness, John!" she whispered, and then started sobbing.

Virgil hadn't moved. "Ha-Have you called Alan yet?"

Scott shook his head. "I ehm, I'll do that in a moment."

Virgil nodded. "How about the crew of the 278? Are they all ok?"

"Yes, as far as I know they are not harmed in any way."

There was a short silence before Virgil asked. "How about Nicole?"

That was a loaded question, and everyone in the room held their breath. Scott looked ashamed. "I-She's not... I kind of lashed out to her, when she was handling it all professionally. She was going to tell the crew of the 278 what had happened, and then I kind of lost it, and took it out on her. She yelled back and then stormed out. I'm not sure how she's really doing."

Jeff interrupted. "Where are you heading now?"

Scott looked confused for a moment. "Ehm, I- I haven't turned around yet."

"Well, do that now, drop the whole crew, including Nicole at NASA. I'll have someone pick her up and bring her here. In the mean while, two of us will go and pick up Alan." Jeff had managed to hide all emotions, and order around as if this was just an ordinary rescue operation.

"FAB, Father... I'll eh, I'll call in to Alan." Scott added.

"Ok. Base out." Jeff quickly said. "OK, Brains, Virgil, can you two pick up Alan from Thunderbird 5 with the small space ship we have?"

The two nodded. "FAB Father." Virgil said. "Brains, the ship is still in good condition, isn't it?"

"I-i-i-it is certa-tainly. Joh- We eh, w-w-w-we checked it out t-t-two m-m-months ago."

"OK, off you go." Jeff said. As Virgil and Brains disappeared, he looked at his second-youngest son who was still staring in the distance, leaning against his desk.

"Gordon?" no response.

"Gordon?!" This time the redhead looked up into his fathers eyes with tears streaming over his cheeks. "Oh, Gordon." Jeff sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug. Gordon cried for a long time, and Jeff held him, tears rolling off his cheeks too. Kyrano had brought Tin Tin to her room, and stayed with her.

Grandma still sat on the couch, but she had ceased to sob.

Finally Jeff said, in a steady voice, with only a slight tremble: "Gordon, do you think you're up to picking up Nicole? If not, I'll call a cab or fly her here myself."

Wiping the tears away from his face, Gordon shook his head. "I'll pick her up."

Jeff nodded. "OK."

"I'll freshen up a bit, and then I'll leave." Gordon said, standing up, pulling up his father with him. Giving a nod to his grandma, who returned it with a small smile, he walked out of the room.

In the meanwhile, Scott called in to Alan.

"Scott! Where have you been?! I called in a couple of times, but you wouldn't respond. I tried the watches too, but neither you nor John would answer."

Alan looked worried, and angry. He hated it when he was feeling left out. And the look on his brother's face didn't help.

"Alan. John's dead."

Alan's face went as white as a sheet. "Bad joke Scott." He said.

"I'm not kidding Alan. He died in the explosion of the shuttle."

For a moment Scott was afraid Alan might pass out as he mumbled: "No! Not John! He can't be!"

But the next words really shocked him. "It should have been me. It should have been me!"

"Alan!! Don't you dare say that!" Surprised by the ferocity in Scott's voice, Alan looked up.

"But, John never took unnecessary risks, not with rescues! I am the one who always takes risks and who's not being careful enough. That's what you and Dad keep telling me!"

"Well, in that case, this risk was necessary. Please, do NOT say that you should have been dead, instead of John. Because it's not true!" Calming down slightly, Scott added. "Someone is on his way to pick you up."

Alan swallowed and nodded. "OK. I eh, I'll see you at home then. Take care Scott!"

Scott took a deep breath to calm himself and answered: "Thanks Alan. You too."

Nicole appeared again. She looked at Scott who had looked up the moment she walked in.

"Nicole! I, I'm really sorry, for what I said. I didn't mean it."

Nicole nodded, sighing. "I know."

With that she sat down in the chair next to Scott. She had sat here before. But then John had been in the pilot seat.

"You know. He saved us."

Scott looked confused. "Sorry?"

"He saved us. I wasn't able to close the doors of Thunderbird 3's airlock, and I was still blown back by the force of the explosion. If John hadn't turned the ship somehow, we would all have been where he is now." She stared at space, seeing nothing as she thought back to the last moments they shared, not long ago. She still couldn't grasp it fully that she wasn't ever going to be able to hold him, or let him hold her. "So, what's the plan?" She asked.

"We'll drop you five off at NASA. I think one of my brothers will be there to pick you up and bring you to the island. No-one has recognised him, have they?"

"No, I think they were all too nervous. You're right, you should drop us all off at NASA, so no-one will get suspicious. Are you going to be OK, handling Thunderbird 3 alone?"

Scott nodded. He had flown Thunderbird 3 before, without any help, even though there had always _been_ someone else in the space ship, just in case.

"We're going to land soon. Better buckle up. Everyone else of the crew OK?"

"Yes, they're all fine. They are a bit shook up by what happened, and Nick is still nervous, but everyone will be fine."

"What's this with Nick anyway?" Scott asked, trying to steer them away from the painful subject.

"Well, he's not a very good astronaut, but we needed him for some repairs on the space station, so we took him with us. He's too nervous though."

Scott nodded, and then called in to NASA. He got permission to land and told them he would be landing in 10 minutes. Then he announced to the rest of the crew that they were going to land at NASA.

When they had landed, Scott gave Nicole a quick hug. Scott took off again and headed home.

The moment the couch was in its place, he was enveloped in a tight hug. Realizing it was his grandmother he returned the hug. It was then, that Scott finally broke down. All the while his grandmother was holding him.

After Scott had calmed down he looked around the room, wondering why his father hadn't said anything yet. Not seeing him, he turned back to his grandmother, who told him that Jeff was in his own room.

Some time later the sound of the smaller space ship was heard. Scott and Grandma went to the place where the three men would be entering the house. Virgil, Alan and Brains entered. Hugs and some squeezes in shoulders were exchanged. They knew they should go to the living room, where Jeff would be by now, but somehow everybody was reluctant to go back to the place where they heard the bad news.

They could postpone it for another bit, because they heard a plane coming in, announcing the arrival of Gordon and Nicole.

The group waited until they entered the house. Virgil and Brains hugged Nicole, but Alan backed away. Nicole tried to hide the hurt look, but didn't cover it up quick enough. Scott and Virgil exchanged a look. What was going on?

_A/N: OK, well, I hoped you enjoyed that... Should I prepare to avoid some tomatoes and other objects that might be thrown at me? Please review!! More coming up, and I promise, it will be on a happier note. Really! _

_O yeah, almost forgot, I'll be moving for a bit, so you might not hear from me in a little while (do I hear sighs of relief?). Now, please tell me what you think of this! – zeilfanaat_


	4. Scott's POV

Chapter 4: Scott's POV

_A/N: I suddenly realised when I was writing this chapter that I never mentioned an explosion before I let the shuttle explode. So, I went back to chapter 2, where I now **do** mention the explosion. Thanks for your understanding. _

Scott flopped down on his bed.

About an hour ago they had all gone to the living room, the portraits looking down on them, and all eyes tried to avoid the one on the left. Tin Tin and Kyrano had joined them, Tin Tin hugging Nicole tightly once she noticed her.

Jeff had started to speak.

_Flashback:_

"I ehm, as you all know we have lost...a member... today." Scott could see that his father had to fight back the tears. "Scott."

He looked up.

"Would you please tell us what happened."

This time it was Scott's turn to swallow. He had known this was coming, but was he ready to tell them? Once he would tell them, everything would be so...real. A voice on his left side surprised him.

"I'll start. Wherever you need to add something, please do so." Scott nodded to Nicole. He felt both guilty for letting her do the hard work and relieved as he didn't have to do so just yet.

"OK, well, as you know our shuttle wasn't responding to any of our commands, we had had a small explosion in the room where the oxygen bottles were. The chance of another explosion was very real, and it would probably occur at around the same time when the oxygen would run out. Nick, who is not comfortable being in space, but was...and still is, the only man available to make the repairs we need on one of the space stations. He was panicking and was of absolutely no use when we tried to repair some of the damage done on board. We did repair some things, but we couldn't get the ship to the right course to the space station or Earth. If we had continued to work on the machinery we might have gotten as far as changing the course, but the oxygen ran out anyway, so there was no point."

Scott took over. "John steered Thunderbird 3 next to the space shuttle, same speed and course, and then went out with 5 oxygen bottles, one for himself. I remained standby to alter course, speed or something else whenever that was needed."

And Nicole picked up again. "John appeared through the air lock with a little less than 6 minutes oxygen left. He gave out the oxygen bottles. Only 4 people fit into the airlock of that space ship, so first Martin ordered Terry, Susan, Nick and me to go. But Nick started to really panic then, so I made the decision to stay behind with John and let the other 4 go first."

This was where it started to become really difficult for Nicole. If she hadn't made that decision, she might have made it with the leaking bottle to the Thunderbird, and John might still be alive. But then, would the leaking bottle have been strong enough? Would it have collapsed if she had tried to go into space with it? Even so, John wouldn't have died. _(A/N: as is obvious, I don't know much about space, but just bear with me.)_

Virgil had squeezed her shoulder to offer some support, and Nicole continued after having taken a deep breath.

"After they had gone out of the airlock, I discovered that the oxygen level in my oxygen flask went down." At this Brains frowned.

"W-w-we had them ch-ch-checked out n-n-n-not l-l-long ago."

Nicole nodded. "That's what John said. I don't know what was wrong with it, but there must have been a leak in it."

Brains nodded to show that he would think it over, and that she could continue. Though Scott spoke before she could speak again.

"Was this where I called in?"

"Not yet. John took my oxygen bottle, and gave me his. It was done before I even realized what it meant. There was not enough oxygen in the leaking flask to reach Thunderbird 3."

Again she was interrupted. "I-i-it wouldn't h-h-have m-m-m-mattered. O-o-once you w-w-w-would have e-e-entered space, you would h-h-have su-su-suffocated."

Nicole swallowed. As did the rest of the family.

"OK, well, I guess John must have known. I started to argue, which is where you called in." She said looking at Scott.

"And John told me to wait for a moment. Well, not in those words, but it came down to the same." Nicole gave a weak smile as she remembered exactly how John had told Scott to 'wait'. That must have been one of the first times that John had said something like that to Scott during a rescue.

"He did. We...we said our goodbyes and then I left."

"That's when he called in, telling me that you were on your way and that he was staying." Scott continued. "He told me he was going to try and turn the ship away from Thunderbird 3 as the explosion of the shuttle would probably damage Thunderbird 3 in the process. He... he said that he loved us all, and that we should continue with our lives...and...and not to blame it on anyone."

"And?" Tin Tin prodded.

"I told him we all loved him...and..."

"What did he say?" Tin Tin asked again. Scott looked up from where he had been staring at the floor. Tears shone in his eyes.

"He didn't say anything. I-I think he may have passed out from lack of oxygen."

_End of flashback_

Scott stared at the ceiling. Well, that was what he hoped had happened. He hoped John hadn't been conscious when he had died. Either by the explosion or by the lack of oxygen.

They could only hope. They would never know. Maybe that was a good thing.

Scott looked around in his room. His eyes went over the bookshelf and rested on a set of books. Those were the four books John had written. There wouldn't be a fifth one.

This thought was what brought it all home.

John was dead. He would never be able to talk to them again, nor listen to them, play volleyball, take a swim, reassure them while they were on a rescue.

John would never breathe again.

John was dead.

_A/N: OK, so I know I promised I would continue on a happier note... just not yet. evil grin Sorry, just a bit more of sadness (I'm planning on getting some family-member's point of view, which won't always be happy... well, I very much doubt they will be happy thoughts) but I promise that the last chapter will be happier. Don't know when the last chapter will be though... :p Please review!_


	5. Virgil's POV

Chapter 5: Virgil's POV

_A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed. I really appreciate it. Enjoy this chapter... oh, should I warn you? It might be a bit sad... _

After the 'meeting' in Jeff's room Virgil went to his room. Looking around he couldn't seem to decide where to go, what to do...what to think.

His room seemed too small to stay, so instead he turned around and wandered through the house. Suddenly he was sitting at his piano.

Letting his fingers caress the piano keys, his mind went back to one of the times he hadn't wanted to practice for the piano.

_Flashback:_

"No, I don't want to practice!" 10-year old Virgil yelled to 12-year old Scott who had tried to get him to do his daily rehearsals. John, who had been playing with Lego with Gordon and Alan, left the 7 and 8 year olds to play together. He pushed himself from the floor upon a seat and looked at his two arguing siblings.

"Virgil! Father says you have to practice every day for at least 15 minutes!"

"Yeah, well, I don't want to!" Virgil shot back.

"Fine, if that's the way you want it, do whatever you like. But don't come running to me when Father's angry at you." With that Scott turned his back to Virgil. John stood up and walked slowly towards the piano. Virgil pretended not to notice. John could see he had his attention though, but didn't acknowledge it. Seeming completely unaware of his surroundings John inspected the piano seat. After a while he apparently was satisfied with his findings and sat on it, continuing his inspections of the piano. After another minute he slowly caressed the keys with his fingers, and then started to play one of the few melodies he could play. It was a melody their mother had taught the three eldest. Gordon and Alan had been too young.

It was a beautiful melody, but suddenly John made a mistake. He stopped, started the small part again and made the mistake again. All four brothers were quietly listening to the music and to John making the same mistake over and over again. Finally Virgil couldn't take it anymore. He went over to the piano, pushed John's hands aside and started playing the music from the beginning to the end without mistake.

Gordon started applauding and Alan, who was bored again, threw a Lego block onto Gordon's half-finished Lego-boat. Immediately Gordon stopped applauding and quickly protected his work. While the two of them quarrelled for a bit, Scott had turned back and saw Virgil showing John where he made the mistake and how he should be doing it. John turned his head slightly, caught Scott's eyes and winked.

Scott couldn't help but smile.

_End of flashback_

Virgil gave a watery smile. Of course he hadn't seen the wink, and at that time he hadn't recognised the method John had used, but when he thought back to it later, he did. Jeff had told him the whole story later. He had been standing at the door opening, ready to interfere into the fight he had heard, when he had seen John's movements. At that point he had backed away a little and watched how his 11-year old son had solved the problem.

It was at this point that Virgil realised he was playing the very melody John had been playing that day.

John would never play it again. Virgil would never hear him play Lucille's songs again in the late evenings, or sometimes at night, when John thought everyone was asleep. John would usually do that one of the first nights he was back from Thunderbird 5.

He never would play again. This time John hadn't come back. And he never would.

_A/N: So, how about that? I know, still sort of sad. I did warn you though. :) Anyway, hope you liked it. On to the next chapter. Please review!!_


	6. Alan's POV

Chapter 6: Alan's POV

_A/N: I was working on Gordon's POV, but I had already written Alan's, so I thought, 'let's give my faithful readers/reviewers something to read.' So, here it is. Please read and review!!_

Alan was sitting in Thunderbird 3. It had only been a couple of hours ago that his second eldest brother had been flying this bird. Only hours ago when John had made his last flight. Alan could hardly grasp it.

John had been the first to actually fly this craft. He had been the one to explain the extra buttons, handles and so forth to him. John had worked together with Brains to design and make the Thunderbirds, so naturally he knew the aircrafts. Sure, they had all helped making the Thunderbirds, but John had been of biggest help to Brains.

Alan remembered the first flight he had taken with John.

_Flashback:_

John had been sitting at the controls, preparing for take-off, in the mean while explaining the whole procedure to Alan. Alan was an astronaut, so he should be able to take off in this bird, but because there were some extra things with which Alan was not familiar, John first 'showed him around'.

Alan had been nervous and excited. Not only because this was the first time that he would be in space with the Thunderbird, but it was also his first time with John at the controls. He had never flown in space with John before, so he was a bit nervous about that, even though he was confident that his brother could fly. After all, why would NASA have been so desperate to keep John otherwise? But actually being with John in a space shuttle was still an adventure.

Once they had entered space, Alan had taken his eyes away from the stars, and settled them on his older brother.

John looked so comfortable at the controls, causing Alan to immediately forget why he had been nervous about flying with John. John had everything under control. No doubt about it.

At that moment John had asked whether he would want to take over the controls. Immediately Alan's doubts began to surface again, but this time about himself. What if he wasn't as good an astronaut as he thought? What if he wasn't able to handle the Thunderbird?

John must have sensed it, because he said: "It's not difficult and I'm totally confident that you'll be able to handle her." He gave his younger brother a reassuring nod, then stood up and made room for Alan.

Reassured by his brother, Alan sat down at the controls. He took a couple of moments to take in all the buttons, handles and screens.

"OK, where to?" He asked John who had sat down next to him.

_End of flashback_

Alan smiled at the memory. The test-flight had gone quite well. John had taken over again to land, but Alan had done the rest, with instructions from John.

After a series of training flights, both John and Alan had been confident that Alan would be able to lift off and set her down again. It hadn't taken very long before Alan was completely used to this new space shuttle.

His Thunderbird. Or actually John and he shared Thunderbird 3 and 5, but Alan had always tried to get more time on Earth. He hated being in Thunderbird 5, away from the action.

Looking back Alan realised that there have been times where he has taken advantage of John's understanding, of John's love for space. He wished he hadn't. He wished he could turn back the clock. Maybe they could have done this rescue differently. Maybe John would still be alive then. Deep within, Alan knew that this was not the case, but he couldn't seem to convince himself.

Instead he blamed Nicole. He knew that John would have done anything to make sure she would be safe. If she hadn't been on that space shuttle. If she hadn't taken that oxygen bottle. If she hadn't noticed the leak. If she... Hold on. What if she hadn't noticed the leak. Then Nicole would have died. Then John would be mourning now. Probably blaming himself for not noticing the leak. Would John have been able to survive if Nicole had died instead of him?

Alan didn't know. He didn't want to know. He quickly pushed those thoughts back, but, even though he still blamed Nicole for his brother's death, the anger was based on grounds he had thought immovable, but now appeared not as strong as he had thought.

_A/N: well, what do you think? Please review!!_


	7. Gordon's POV

Chapter 7: Gordon's POV

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews!! Maybe for the ones out there who can't stand more sad stuff: Sadness Warning!!! : Soooo, anyone still with me? Please read and review!!! _

As in a trance, Gordon walked over the island. This wasn't happening. It just wasn't happening. This was just one big nightmare. In a moment he would wake up, and walk over to John's room, and John would be asleep in his bed, next to Nicole. Yes, everything would be fine. Just fine.

But Gordon felt the truth in his heart, even as he tried to deny it, push it back.

Gordon wasn't just randomly walking, he was walking to his secret place. Or actually, the secret place of both him and John.

They had found it once, when they were younger, playing adventurers. As he came closer to the place, Gordon began to recognise certain things.

There was the place where he had stumbled.

There was the place where he had discovered the small crevice.

That's where John had tried the rocks, to see whether they could hold him.

And then John had suddenly disappeared.

_Flashback:_

"John?! Where are you?" Gordon had yelled, slightly panicky.

A somewhat muffled voice had replied. "I'm right here. Wait there, I'm coming back."

And after about half a minute John's head reappeared.

"Where were you?" Gordon asked. John motioned for him to climb up.

"Be careful where you place your hands and feet!" he warned. "You've seen how I did it. First try to see whether it can hold your weight, and only then place your weight on it."

Gordon nodded, and concentrated on doing it exactly as John told him.

Under John's guidance he reached the point where he could see where John had disappeared. Within seconds he stood before his older brother.

John nodded, turned around and started to lead him through the natural path that was created between the two rock walls.

Before Gordon knew it he was standing on a small pasture with full view to the sea and to the sky. There was an old tree and some bushes. Squirrels hastily made their way to their homes as their privacy was interrupted.

Gordon looked around in awe. This was beautiful. He looked up to John who had closed his eyes and was facing the sky, a smile crossing over his features.

"Why are you smiling?" The 10-year-old asked his blonde brother.

"You can smell the sea, feel the wind... it's all so peaceful." John opened his eyes and looked his sibling straight in the eyes. "It's as if Mum is here."

Gordon looked at him, then closed his eyes, like John had before and breathed in deeply. With a serious expression he opened his eyes and looked at John. "I can smell the sea... I can feel the wind. But I don't see Mum."

John smiled and tousled Gordon's copper-coloured hair. "I don't mean really 'see'. It's just the peace and quiet." When John saw that his sibling didn't understand he said: "Close your eyes. Think of Mum. How do you feel when you think of her?"

Gordon complied and answered after a little while: "Undisturbed... nice... Hey, that's exactly how I felt when I saw this!"

He opened his eyes and looked excitedly at John, who smiled back at him, satisfied with what his brother had 'discovered'.

_End of Flashback_

Gordon smiled. He was standing at the exact location as he had all those years ago. It was already getting dark, the Sun was about to set. Instead of returning to the house, Gordon opted to stay here for a little longer.

He sat down in the grass and watched as the Sun made its way through the sky. _'Peaceful.'_ That's what John had said. How often had he thought back to that moment. Always when he or John had wanted to be alone, they had come here. Gordon chuckled softly. And usually, about an hour or two after one of them had disappeared, the other would quietly make his way towards this place... and comfort the other. Not that it happened very often, just sometimes.

Like that one time... a couple of years ago... just after his hydrofoil accident.

_Flashback:_

Gordon stared into the night. This was one of the first times he had been fit enough to actually have an evening walk outside without anyone fussing over him. He snorted. He probably should thank John for that. He had seen his blonde brother have a talk with Father and Scott the moment he walked outside.

It wouldn't be very long or the person in question would quietly appear. He always did. This was a comfort to Gordon. He knew that there was always someone who was watching over him.

He turned to look at the water. It was so...alive and moveable, yet so comforting. And still... it was the same element that had almost cost him his life...

He shuddered at the thought. He was just getting back into the swing of life... but would he ever be able to dive into the water as comfortable as before the accident? Gordon sighed.

He tensed suddenly when someone sat down next to him, but quickly relaxed again as he realised who that someone was.

No one said a thing. The only things that could be heard were the waves, the wind and the crickets.

After a while John quietly broke the silence. "Beautiful night isn't it?"

Gordon nodded. "Yeah."

Without looking away from the sea below them, John continued. "Amazing isn't it. The thing you always thought to be your friend, almost caused your death."

Gordon looked at him. "You're being awfully straight to the point, you know. I've known you to be more subtle." He commented, trying to sound playful.

"That's because that's the way we'll have to deal with this. I know you're reluctant, even afraid of diving after the accident."

Gordon sighed and snorted, sounding irritated. "And how would you know?"

"You mean, apart from the fact that **when** you're swimming, you never go under water, not even in the swimming pool?" John teased.

Gordon chuckled slightly. "That obvious huh?"

"Come on, Gordo, I know you. You didn't think you could keep this from me, did you? Even Father has noticed that you hardly ever swim anymore. Well, voluntarily that is."

Gordon stared ahead of him again. "You're right. If it hadn't been for the fact that swimming was necessary for my recovery I probably would never have entered the water again... Actually, if it hadn't been for you, I probably wouldn't have."

John smiled sadly, remembering the efforts it had cost him to get Gordon to swim in even the shallowest part of the swimming pool at the hospital. He had managed, but it had taken its toll on him emotionally, even though he hadn't shown Gordon that.

"Don't mention it. I'm glad you decided to fight for your recovery. But now you're physically fully healed. It's about time we spent time on the emotional recovery."

"John, you should write books! The way you phrase things..." Gordon said with a cheeky smile. John looked at him, pretending to be hurt, but the twinkle in his eyes betrayed him.

"How about this phrase then? What would you think of spending some time with some fish, some plants and some other sea-animals?"

"Is that an invitation?" Gordon asked.

John thought about that for a moment. "Yes, one you can't decline."

Gordon turned seriously. "Only if you join me."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." They smiled at each other.

"Thanks John."

"You're welcome Gordon."

_End of Flashback_

After this they had sat there quietly for another twenty minutes before returning to the house.

One sentence seemed to have stuck clearly into Gordon's mind.

"_The thing you always thought to be your friend, almost caused your death."_

John had said that, thinking about Gordon's passion for water... who could ever have thought that this sentence was also applicable to John himself? With one slight change, but one with an immense impact. Space hadn't _almost_ killed him. Space _had_ killed him.

And there was nothing Gordon could do. John was dead.

And Gordon couldn't even bury him... his whole body had disappeared in one horrifying moment... and Gordon hadn't even _known_ at that point!

At this Gordon broke down. Tears streamed over his face. It was only forty minutes later that he ceased to sob. Breathing in deeply he let the sounds of the night envelop him. The clashing of the waves, the rustling of the leaves, the sound of the crickets. Closing his eyes, remembering those nights, he felt himself relax. It was peaceful.

It was the same, yet different. Gordon concentrated and suddenly he knew.

Not only was it as if Mum was here... John was here as well... And at this Gordon knew that John never really left him. He was still here, only this time he was not visible... he was with Mum.

_A/N: and that was the update of today. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. I would like to know what you think!!_


	8. Jeff's POV

**Chapter 8: Jeff's POV**

_A/N: I know what you must be thinking by now. "Oh no, not another sad point of view!" Don't despair, only a couple more to go and then the happier part will begin. So please bear with me. Please read, enjoy and review!_

Blankly Jeff stared ahead of him, not seeing anything of what was there. But in his mind he saw images of the past.

_Flashback:_

"Daddy?" a young voice sounded softly in the darkness of the study room.

Jeff turned around in his chair and looked down. "What's the matter, John?"

"I can't sleep."

Jeff lifted the four-year-old onto his knee.

"How come?" He asked gently. The boy shrugged and leaned against his father's chest.

"Can you tell me another story about the stars?"

Jeff smiled, having recognised the technique of the young boy. Not that John was lying. He probably couldn't sleep. The reason however was that his son was too occupied with thinking about the stars that he didn't allow his mind to get some rest.

Knowing John wouldn't be able to sleep if he would send him back right away, he agreed to tell him another story. He didn't mind. Actually, he was proud of his son to have this interest in the twinkling dots that decorated the sky.

"OK, but only one. After that you go to sleep. Am I clear?"

John nodded, his eyes looking expectantly up at his father.

Jeff picked him up and walked to the large window of his office where two comfortable chairs were standing. Pulling away the curtains so they could see the stars, he finally settled down in one of the chairs.

This wasn't the first time this had happened. Sometimes Lucille and he would be sitting here, enjoying each other's company, when their second son would show his face. At first they had tried to send him back to bed, but they soon found out it didn't work, so instead Lucille often listened to Jeff when he would tell John about space.

This time Lucille had already gone to bed. After all, being pregnant with your fifth child while the other four are still young and hyper, does tend to make you tired.

So, with Lucille already asleep, Jeff and John had the room for themselves.

John leaned silently against his chest, looking at the dark sky, while Jeff started telling him about the formation of stars.

After about thirty minutes Jeff finished his story. John let out a sigh of contentment and looked up into Jeff's eyes. "Thank you Daddy."

Jeff smiled. "You're welcome John. Now how about finding your way to dreamland?"

John nodded.

"OK, come on then. I'll tuck you in." Jeff carried the boy, who was now rubbing his eyes, to his room and put him under the blankets. After he had tucked him in and placed a kiss on his forehead, Jeff was about to leave the room, when John's soft voice stopped him.

"Daddy?" he asked sleepily, "can you open the curtains?"

Jeff smiled. "Sure."

When he had opened the curtains and headed back for the door, he could see John's face. Eyes closed, mouth smiling. "Goodnight Daddy." he murmured.

"Goodnight John."

And with that he closed the door.

_End of Flashback_

Jeff's eyes held a tender look as he thought back to those days. The days where Lucille was still alive. The days where the boys were just playing, fighting and making up with each other. The making up part sometimes needed a bit of help, of course, but they would eventually forgive and forget about the arguments.

Jeff closed his eyes. 'Oh John. This is not supposed to happen! You're supposed to walk through that door, smile at everyone, comment on Alan and Gordon's argument, give your opinion on Virgil and Brains' chess game, say to Mother that she once again did a wonderful job baking a cake, or engage Scott into a conversation about either his latest date or about some book about air planes.'

'It's not right that I now have to think about arranging your funeral! It's not right for a father to live longer than his child!'

A thought which had bothered him for a long time, once again showed its head.

'Maybe I pushed you into joining International Rescue, this...fantasy of mine that became reality. Maybe, if I hadn't organised the whole thing, all of you would still be safe somewhere. Your only worries would be about your wives and kids, not about the safety of the entire world!'

Thinking about wives and kids, Jeff realised that he hadn't talked to Nicole yet. In fact, he hadn't _really_ talked to anyone about John's... death yet. He hadn't even called Penelope yet!

Sighing sadly, Jeff mentally prepared himself on how to tell her. This wasn't going to be easy... for either of them.

He let his eyes slide over the pictures on the opposite wall, resting them on the last picture. Swallowing, Jeff turned around, picked up the phone, and walked to the window, where the two chairs still stood.

Sitting in the same chair as he had all those years ago, he could feel the emotions becoming stronger, overwhelming.

Tears started forming until finally they were streaming down his face. He felt like he should be strong for everyone... but who would be strong for him?

And with this thought Jeff let it all go and cried. His only comfort being the picture of Lucille.

_A/N: that's it for now. Please review!_


	9. Brains' POV

Chapter 9: Brains' POV

_A/N: Hello, me again. I've got another chapter for you people… Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far!! I really appreciate it. _

_And, no, it's still in the same sort of mood. Which you could have expected, since this story will have a (sort of) happy ending… and this chapter definitely is not the last one yet. _

_Please read and review. If you notice any mistakes, please notify me and I'll change them. Thank you._

The stuttering scientist was running around his lab, doing various experiments at the same time as to not give the sadness a chance to overwhelm him.

He was just about to pour a chemical into a test tube when he realised the test tube already contained a substance.

The colour quickly left his face as he recognised the substance. He could have killed himself adding the chemical to this substance!

'Well, it's not like it would really matter. After all, John's gone. Everyone is busy trying to cope with that. I doubt they would care much for me being dead as well.' he thought melancholically.

But as the meaning of this thought hit him he was so shocked he had to sit down.

'What are you thinking! Mr. Tracy has always made me feel part of the family. Of course they would be shocked and sad if I had died!' Brains berated himself.

He looked around his lab. He only just now noticed he was actually doing five experiments at the same time!

He might as well stop all of them. He hadn't taken any notes, and he couldn't remember any details. There would be no point in continuing them, so Brains stood up and put all the equipment away. After his lab was reasonably cleaned up, Brains sat down in the chair he had been sitting in previously.

His mind went back to the times when John was there, in his laboratory. The times when Tin Tin wasn't there (yet) to assist with experiments. Times when he was so caught up in different theories and formulae that he couldn't seem to find the right one. Times when he felt alone, having no family left.

These were times he turned to the second Tracy-brother.

Brains had always found it easier to talk to John than to any of the others, although it was increasingly difficult to find a time when John wasn't busy doing something. He was, after all, in Thunderbird 5 for most of the year. And when he wasn't in space, he would either be at Tracy Industries, or on a rescue mission, or enjoying some time with his wife.

And still, Brains had only needed to say a word and John would leave whatever he was doing at that moment, and listen to what Brains had to say. Brains couldn't remember one time that John wasn't there for him.

Except now. Now was the one time that John wasn't able to be there for him. To listen to him. To reassure him.

Of course, if John had been here, there wouldn't have been a reason for him _to_ be there. Brains half grinned at that thought.

The grin disappeared as he thought about the blonde-headed Tracy boy that had only been about a month older than he was.

'Well, if I don't blow myself up accidentally within the next six weeks, I'll actually live longer than you John.'

This reminded him of one of the conversations they had once had.

_Flashback:_

It was in the middle of the night. Brains was completely focused on one of his experiments.

Three days ago he had been stuck on a certain experiment, and for the last three days he had been thinking about how to solve the problem.

As could be expected, the answer popped up in his head the moment he was about to fall into a deep sleep. Once he had the problem solved, he just couldn't stay in bed. He had to go and finish the experiment.

And that was how he had ended up in his lab in the middle of the night.

However, Brains' mind might have been awake, his body didn't agree with the mind. It therefore wasn't very unexpected when he tripped over his own feet. He would definitely have made contact with the floor in a painful way, hadn't it been for the strong pair of hands that caught him.

Getting back on his feet, Brains looked up to see who caught him. He grinned. He shouldn't have been surprised to find his blonde friend here.

John had just arrived back from Thunderbird 5 that day. Brains knew that John often went to the piano the very first evening he was back. And John knew that Brains had been pondering about a certain experiment, and that, if he found the solution during night time, he would go and experiment the same night.

What was more, both men knew that the other knew.

Brains pulled his pyjama shirt straight and smiled.

"Th-thanks John."

"Brains, you do know that you shouldn't be doing this at this hour, don't you? You could get yourself hurt. If you continue this way I'll live longer than you!" John reprimanded Brains.

Brains chuckled. "Y-You already do."

John smiled. "That's not the point."

"I-I get the point John, but it's just… once I get the s-solution to a problem, I can't stay in my bed. I just h-have to test it," Looking at John he added cheekily, "It's the same feeling you get when _y-you_ can't find the right way to put something in a sentence. I-if the right sentence suddenly pops up at three o'clock in the morning, y-you're not staying in bed either, or writing it down on a spare p-piece of paper. N-no, you climb out of your bed, go to your desk and you write another ch-chapter."

John laughed. "I never said I didn't understand."

At this both men had to laugh.

"Now, let's get this experiment done with so we can both get some sleep." John said.

"Y-you can go to bed. Th-there's no need for you to stay and h-help."

"But I want to. It'll go quicker this way. And besides, someone has to be here to catch you when you trip again."

Brains looked at him with one raised eyebrow. Then he quickly told John what he was doing and how he could help. After this the experiment went smoothly.

Brains recorded the last result and together they cleaned up. Looking around John said: "Well, how does 'bed' sound to you right now?"

Brains nodded. "S-Sounds pretty good. Th-thanks for helping me John."

"Any time Brains, you know that. Next time, just give me a warning. Then I can be prepared to catch you." John smiled, walked towards the door and suppressed a yawn. Brains followed him and was about to respond when John tripped. Quickly Brains' hands shot out and managed to keep John upright. John steadied himself and looked at the scientist's face, as Brains said: "S-seems I'm n-not the only one who sometimes needs a s-steadying hand."

"Well, I guess everyone needs a friend to keep them from falling." John responded with a playful smile on his face. His expression turned serious when he added: "Thank you Brains, for being that friend."

Brains had not been able to respond with words, but instead had squeezed the Tracy-brother's shoulder.

With that they left the lab, and went to their bedrooms to catch some sleep.

_End of Flashback_

Brains sighed. He certainly hoped that John knew that he had saved Brains from falling more than once. Emotionally, not physically.

It had happened a few times that Brains was feeling down, alone, sometimes downright depressed. Most people in the family wouldn't notice. The stuttering would be a bit worse, but since he didn't talk much anyway, there were few people that would pick up on it.

John did.

And when it happened while John was up in Thunderbird 5, Brains would usually give him a call when the feelings became too overwhelming.

Brains chuckled ruefully.

"Well, John, I could certainly usea listening ear right now."

Brains turned in his chair and looked over at his book shelf. He could pinpoint the exact spot where John's notes were, neatly stacked. Notes on ideas about how to improve certain things in the Thunderbird machines. Some worked out, some just jotted down.

In his mind Brains could see John sitting next to him, explaining some of his ideas, or giving his opinions on some concept Brains had come up with, sometimes writing down a fewcomments next to Brains' calculations.

Suddenly Brains walked to the shelf and picked up the small stack of paper with the easily recognizable scrawl all over the thin, white material.

Purposefully he put the papers on his desk and he sat down.

Brains had a goal.

"I will look through your ideas, and I'll do everything I can to make the good ones work. I promise."

"I won't forget you, John, my dear friend, I won't forget you."

_A/N: Yeah, that was it again. Please review. Thanks._


	10. Nicole's POV

Chapter 10: Nicole's POV

_A/N: Hello! Here's yet another chapter of this story. Please read and review. I hope you'll enjoy it! A special thanks goes out to white rose01 who has beta-read this chapter and pointed out the mistakes. _

_I also want to say thank you for the ones who reviewed:_

_**Gismo** – Thanks! Here is Nicole's chapter. It will kind of flow over into chapter 11 where we get Grandma's POV. But you'll find that out soon enough. winks Enjoy!_

_**White rose01** – Thank you! Not only for the review but also for showing me the mistakes I made! More will be coming your way… sometime. :)_

_**Claudette** – Thank you for the review. I agree. Brains doesn't get enough attention. If you hear from him it's only so he can give some idea on a rescue, but you hardly ever hear from him on a more personal base. As for your question on the number of chapters still to come, I've got it plotted, not written out. Plotted the story counts 14 chapters. However, knowing my muse's tendencies to add some more to the mix, it could change. But that should be it approximately. Enjoy this chapter._

_**Kitkat tictac** – Wow, thanks for the compliment. hand kitkat tictac a tissue to wipe away tears But, no, it's not based on real experiences. Luckily! ;) I hope you'll like this chapter as well._

_**Math girl** – Thanks. Sorry, no amazing last minute rescues. And I wanted Nicole's point of view as well, so I couldn't really let her stay with John. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well!_

* * *

Nicole walked into the bedroom. John's bedroom. Their bedroom. A room full of memories. Some good. Some bad. Most of them great. She stood still in the middle of the room, looking around her. It was as if John was still there. The objects, the smell, the way certain things were lying around and others were neatly put away.

The atmosphere, the tension. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel his presence, yet at the same time she felt an emptiness slowly taking over her heart.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. Slowly she walked towards the window. In front of the window they had placed a couch, since they both loved looking out at night, seeing the dark heavens with the stars and constellations. How often had they sat here, just enjoying each other's company?

_Flashback:_

John leaned back on the couch. He had just finished writing down some notes on a star he had recently discovered, and now he was up to some relaxation time. The door opened and closed again, and John could hear the familiar rhythm of his wife's footsteps approaching him. Then a smiling face appeared from above, upside-down, and blue eyes looked at him lovingly.

"Hi." The face said.

"Hi to you too." John answered, placing a small kiss on the lips in front of him. Nicole giggled, then disappeared momentarily from John's sight, only to reappear as she sat down next to him.

"Did you finish your notes?" She asked, snuggling up to him. She was still dressed in her pyjamas, which was not strange, considering it was early in the morning.

"Yeah. I did. Good thing too as it's getting too light now to see the star properly."

Indeed, the stars were fading, and dawn was approaching rapidly.

John sighed contently. That moment he was the happiest man in the world. He had finished the work he wanted to have done and he was holding the love of his life as they were witnessing the warm, yellow-orange ball rise from the sea.

Nicole rested her head on his shoulder, taking in the scent of her beloved husband. She too felt as if nothing could ever be more perfect than right that moment.

_End of flashback_

But instead of the warmth of John's body and the light of the sun, coldness met her skin, bringing her back to the hard reality as she sat on the couch…alone.

Perfect it had been. And perfect it would never be again. Even if the whole setting would be the same, the key-part would not be there.

Desperate thoughts invaded Nicole's mind. How would she ever be able to live without him? How could she live knowing she would never smell his scent again, never feel his body next to hers as they were lying in bed, never see his smile or hear his laughter. Never again would those blue eyes look at her full of passion and love…

Suddenly she felt the bile rise in her throat and she made a dash for the bathroom. She knelt in front of the toilet and quickly lost the small amount of food she had managed to get inside. Tears streamed down her face as she thought back to the times when she had been ill, hunched over the toilet and John had sat behind her, supporting her, keeping her hair from her face and whispering comforting words.

It was as if a dam had burst. She couldn't hold back the tears and neither did she try anymore. The whole façade, all the strength, all the resolve. It all disappeared. The walls she had carefully built in the short time she was given came crumbling down. And all that was left was her heart shattered to pieces.

The blonde-haired woman cried uncontrollably, leaning against the wall, sitting on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

She didn't notice the old woman standing in the door opening, watching her with sad eyes.

_

* * *

A/N: Well, that's the end of this chapter, but as I've mentioned to Gismo, this chapter kind of flows over into the next, which will be longer. Please review!_


	11. Grandma's POV

Chapter 11: Grandma's POV

_A/N: I use the dates of births and other information from the Thunderbird website http/www. thunderbirdsonline. com /site/characterprofiles/index. html. (Take away the blank spaces). Unfortunately, Grandma's 'file' wasn't there, so I decided that since the files say that Jeff's born in 2009 (hey, let's celebrate his birthday in a four years!) Grandma should be born in about 1980 (assuming she had Jeff when she was 29). So, basically, in this story, Grandma is 91 years old. Yes, quite old, but still in her right mind. For the ones that want to know, this story takes place in the year 2071. Don't worry, I have a full timeline plotted out for myself, so it should make sense in one way or another. _

_A/N2: Criticism is welcome. (And please if you see a spelling mistake or anything grammatically incorrect, tell me so I can change it! And if possible, tell me why it's wrong so I won't make the same mistake again. Thank you!)_

_A/N3: Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry it took such a long time! I was stuck. I had written myself into a corner, and I couldn't get out. So, I just started over, and voila, I avoided the wrong turn this time! Enjoy!_

From chapter 10:

_The blonde-haired woman cried uncontrollably, leaning against the wall, sitting on the cold tile floor of the bathroom. _

_She didn't notice the old woman standing in the door opening, watching her with sad eyes._

Chapter 11:

The old woman leaned against the wall of the hall, just outside of the bathroom, and closed her eyes.

Her heart ached for her granddaughter-in-law who was now alone in a family of which she had only been officially part of for two short years, before losing her only link, her husband of as many years.

Her heart ached for her son who had lost his wife twenty-six years prior, and had now lost a son to the organisation he had built. The organisation that was intended to save lives had cost him the life of his son. The son who had inherited the soft, caring nature of his wife. The son who could be relied on to be there for everyone. The son who was least found in danger zones had died during a rescue mission, leaving behind a heartbroken family.

Her heart ached for her grandsons who had lost a brother. A brother who they hadn't expected to be the first to die. After all, John was in Thunderbird 5 for the most part, and he had a wife. And, John was always there. John was the one you'd go to for advice, for comfort or just for some small-talk.

Once she had feared this family would fall apart, twenty-six years ago, because of the death of Lucille. Yet the opposite had happened. The bonds between Jeff and his sons and the bonds between the brothers themselves had strengthened.

Now she felt the same fear showing its ugly head, no matter how hard she tried to push it back. A chain, no matter how strong, could break if one of the links was taken away. A rope could hold a lot together, but if one thread was broken, the whole rope could start to unravel until there was no rope left.

'No,' she told herself firmly. 'That won't happen. We're a family, and we'll stick together. We'll grieve, support each other, and somehow move on as we've done before.'

'But before you had Grant to lean on.' The small voice persisted.

Josie leaned her head back until it rested against the wall. When she was forty-one her parents had died. Twenty-six years ago she had lost her daughter-in-law. Five years later she had lost her husband. And now she had lost her grandson. And she wasn't getting younger either. She was ninety-one already. How she had lasted through all the losses she didn't know. Or actually, she did. She had always found strength in looking at the people that were still alive. She would look around and feel she was needed. Her family needed her to be strong. And she would be.

She would be there for the ones that needed her, and in helping them, she would be able to deal with it herself.

The sobs coming from the bathroom had become softer and Josie straightened.

'Don't worry John. I know you would want to be with her at the moment, but don't worry. I'll take care of her. And I'll take care of the rest of the family as well. You just rest peacefully, my dear son. We'll be fine.'

She was about to move into the bathroom as she thought of something else.

'And Grant. Keep your eye on that stargazer of ours and his mother. I'll help you when the time's right.'

And with that she quietly walked into the bathroom, took a washcloth, soaked it with cold water and held it against Nicole's forehead.

Nicole looked up, tears still streaming down her face, but she managed a thin smile which Josie returned.

For a moment they just looked at one another. Then Grandma opened her arms slightly and Nicole pushed herself off the ground and stepped into a tight hug.

That's how they stood for a while, in complete silence, each drawing comfort from the other.

"Oh Grandma," Nicole sobbed, "Why did this happen? Why?"

Josie stroked the hair of the younger woman and sighed inaudibly.

"I wish I knew."

"How do you deal with it? Why was it _my_ oxygen tank that was leaking? I'm responsible. How did it happen? I'm responsible for my husband's death. I just… I just don't know anymore. I can't think straight anymore. His last words, those last moments, they just keep repeating until the… until the… explosion. Then it's just blank. He's gone. But everything I touch, everywhere I go, it all reminds me of him."

Josie let the distressed woman speak. When Nicole was finished, Grandma said:

"Dear. It wasn't your fault. Everyone could have gotten that flask. Don't hold yourself responsible. I know John didn't hold you responsible, so don't dishonour him by holding yourself responsible. As for the things that remind you of him… there will be times when you'll remember him without feeling like crying. Just wait and see. The time will heal the wounds."

Nicole pulled back slightly and Grandma gave her a reassuring smile. "Really."

A small smile appeared on Nicole's face, but it quickly vanished and she dove back to the toilet. As there was nothing left in her stomach, all Nicole ended up doing was dry heaving.

Josie looked at her granddaughter-in-law calculatingly. Slowly she asked: "Nicole. When was the last time you and John were together? On Tracy Island I mean."

In between the heaving and catching her breath, Nicole managed to answer.

"About… six, seven weeks ago."

"Have you been sick for a long time?"

Nicole shook her head. "No, just about two times last week. I figured I've got some nasty bug. Nothing to worry about."

Josie picked up the washcloth which had fallen on the tile floor and soaked it again before handing it back to Nicole who took it gratefully.

Exhausted Nicole leaned against the wall. Josie let her catch her breath before indicating to John and Nicole's room. "Let's get you to bed. A cold tile floor is no place for anyone to sit."

Nicole didn't feel up to protesting, and the idea of being able to lie down comfortably was quite appealing. The disadvantage would be that the empty space next to her would only be accentuating the loss she had suffered.

Josie led her to the bed and made her lie down. Once she had the younger woman settled she momentarily disappeared only to reappear with a plastic bucket which she placed next to the bed, and a glass of water which found a place on the night stand.

Then the old woman sat down carefully on Nicole's side of the bed, careful not to sit on John's half. Her old, but still alert eyes searched the eyes of the young woman who had her eyes closed.

"Nicole. Have you thought about the possibility that you might be pregnant?" she asked carefully, but straight-to-the-point.

Immediately Nicole's eyes flashed open.

"P-pregnant? But how…?"

Grandma cocked an eyebrow and a smile tugged at her lips.

"Well, I would have thought you would know by now the how's of becoming pregnant."

Nicole, who was too surprised at first to register the question she had asked, blushed as her mind caught up with the answer she had received.

Josie grinned good-naturedly. "Don't be ashamed. After all, Jeff and Lucille have created five sons and if I'm correct, it could have been more, as it certainly wasn't for lack of trying."

This comment did nothing to take away the red colour on Nicole's cheeks, but nonetheless a small smile appeared.

"Well," Josie prodded, "is it possible? Could you be pregnant?"

Nicole nodded slowly. "Yes… yes, it is possible…"

Her mind was only just starting to comprehend what this meant. A joy made its way through the sadness and filled up a small part of the empty space John's death had left in her heart.

Josie noticed the change and smiled.

"Now, don't let us get our hopes up yet. We will need to check this. Do you want me to get a pregnancy test from the cabinet in the sickroom?"

Nicole gave the older woman an incredulous look.

"You mean Father keeps pregnancy tests on the island?"

Grandma chuckled.

"Well, not exactly. I 'updated' the cabinet contents just days before your marriage. Jeff probably would have gone ballistic had I told him to add pregnancy tests to the standard contents of the sickroom's cabinet. Besides, with Alan and Tin Tin on one island, in one house, I figured it could always come in handy." Josie added with a snort.

Nicole chuckled slightly, but then a hint of fear crept into her eyes.

"But Grandma… what if I _am_ pregnant? Our child would grow up without a father. And what would Father think? Or Scott, Virgil, Gordon and Alan for that matter?" Nicole asked worried.

"Now you listen to me carefully. Your child may not grow up with a father, but he or she will have four uncles on this island who will spoil the kid tremendously, a grandfather who, if possible, will be even worse, and a great-grandmother who will try and minimise the damage, as well as spoil him or her rotten herself. Besides, he or she will have a wonderful mother. And if you just tell your child everything about John, the kid will know his or her father, even though he's not there physically."

Josie saw the doubt still lurk in the shadows, so she added. "Look at these boys. They've grown up with only one parent as well, and even though it has hurt them to have lost a mother at that age, they have become strong, fine young men. Now, shall I go get this pregnancy test or not?"

Nicole grinned, visibly relieved. "Yes please. And Grandma? Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Josie was back within five minutes, and she put the pregnancy test on the bed, just next to Nicole.

"Here you go. I'll leave you to it. But if you need something, just yell. I'll be in the kitchen."

Nicole nodded her thanks. Grandma closed the door and Nicole was left sitting on the bed, staring at the test besides her, contemplating whether she wanted this child. It didn't take her very long to reach her decision.

Yes, she wanted this child. Time to find out if there was something to want…


	12. Kyrano's POV

Chapter 12: Kyrano's POV

_A/N: Ah! I'm impossible. :) Sorry, I wanted to update sooner, but it didn't really work. (Reasons are listed in the A/N of Blowing Up, chapter 10). Anyway, may I present to you: Kyrano's point of view._

_Thanks to white rose01 for beta-reading! _

_**White rose01 – **Thanks for the review! I totally agree with you about Grandma. :p Lol. Anyway, I'll try and get the next chapter of this to you A.S.A.P. but seeing as we're both busy (with exams and other things), it might not be very soon. :s sniff Right, hope you enjoy(ed) this chapter too!_

_**Math Girl – **Keep hoping, so do I. ;) Thanks for the compliment and review! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter too!_

_**Fried Eeyore/Kitkat Tictac/Olympics 2012 London - **my, what a names you have! ;) I like kitkat tictac as a name, but then, it's your name, so… Anyway, I hope you're hanging in there with your family situation. Good luck! Thanks for the review!_

_**Gismo – **Well done on the guessing! ;) However, I am continuing with Kyrano's and Tin Tin's point of views as you might see, 'cause I'm wondering the same thing: what would their reactions be. Actually, I thought Kyrano's POV would be the most difficult one, but as I'm going through Tin Tin's, it turns out it's her POV I have the most problems with. Oh well. You'll find out how it went once I post it. ;) Thanks for the review!_

_**Darkhelmetj – **Of course, grandmas are the best! ;) (can't say I have a lot of experiences with grandpas, 'cause both my grandpas died a year before I was born, so it's not that difficult/objective for me to come to that conclusion :p) LOL, apparently we both should have our thesaurus close by, just in case we come across a new chapter… As for the 'question'… wait and see… /evil grin/_

_**IloveSam – **Sorry, this wasn't very soon… but not too long either I hope. Seems you're not the only one who hopes Nicole's pregnant… Well, we'll see, won't we/evil grin/. (I'm not mean... really/tries to look convincing/) Enjoy this chapter!_

_On to the story!_

* * *

Josie somehow managed to muster enough will to cook a meal. She knew no one would be very hungry, but they had to eat, whether they wanted to or not. It just wouldn't do to all starve to death because no one felt like eating.

Kyrano walked in. If you just glanced at him, you wouldn't notice anything had happened. However, if you looked a little more closely, you could see that he hadn't remained unaffected either.

"Kyrano? Could you help me set the table please?" Josie asked as if nothing had happened. The Malaysian nodded and began to put down the plates. It was actually quite strange, Kyrano thought. Usually when someone of a family has… passed away you have to set a plate less. And here he was, putting down an extra plate, because Nicole was at home. The whole family was there, with the obvious exception, but if you hadn't known what had happened that day, you might have just thought it was John's shift in Thunderbird 5.

"Kyrano?" He looked up as Josie waved her wrinkled hand in front of his face, and looked at him worriedly. "Are you ok?"

Kyrano inclined his head. "Yes, I am all right. Though if I am not needed any further, I would like to retreat to my quarters."

Josie looked around. "I have everything under control. You can go. I will send one of the boys over to warn you when dinner is ready."

Kyrano bowed again, and then disappeared to his room, while Josie continued her work in the kitchen.

The Malaysian walked through the hallways, barely audible, and stopped for a second in front of his daughter's room, before entering the room next-door. There he sat on the floor, in front of the window, with his back towards the door.

He closed his eyes and after several moments his breathing evened out as if he was asleep, and his troubled mind seemed to calm.

_Flashback:_

Kyrano was cutting out dead branches and leafs from the plants that decorated the garden; the garden being only a small part of the entire island. A soft humming caught his attention and he looked around. A blond 18 year old man rounded a corner and found himself facing the Malaysian.

The gardener inclined his head in greeting. "Good morning Young Mr. Tracy. Are you enjoying the weather before you leave for NASA tomorrow?"

"Good morning to you too Kyrano. As the matter of fact I am."

"Are you nervous at all?"

John nodded. "Yeah, though not as much as I expect I'll be tomorrow. And really, there's not much to worry about. Application went fine, they want me to work there, I want to work there. So, piece of cake."

Kyrano just inclined his head, both men knowing it wouldn't be a 'piece of cake'.

"Everyone will miss you dearly, especially your father." Kyrano said.

"I'll miss everyone too."

Suddenly they were interrupted by Alan who was chased by Tin Tin.

"Give back my sunglasses!" the Malaysian girl cried out angrily. While she continued to run after the blonde boy, she searched for help from her father. "Daddy! Alan stole my sunglasses!" And then she disappeared again, into the bushes, after the 'thief'.

Kyrano turned back towards John. "We will also miss the peace and quiet your presence brings."

John laughed. "Why? I'm still here, and these things still happen all the time."

"Why yes, that is certainly true… however you haven't been here when you weren't here." John raised his left eyebrow and gave the older man a lopsided grin.

"I'd be quite worried if I would be here while I wasn't here."

The gardener looked at him, confused for a second, then realised what he had said and laughed. "You know what I mean, Young Mr. Tracy."

"I do. Sorry for interrupting. Please continue."

"It is not merely in these cases either. I have noticed all people in this family come to you for all kinds of problems. Whether it is in search of a Band-Aid, or in search of a listening ear, they usually end up at your door. Am I incorrect, Mr. Tracy?"

John remained silent for a moment, contemplating Kyrano's words. Then he nodded slowly. "No, you are not completely incorrect, Kyrano… I suppose they will just have to find a Band-Aid somewhere else now." He added. Kyrano smiled inwardly. 'So young, yet bearing so much responsibility already.'

Just then Alan appeared again and was about to rush out of sight just as soon, as John called him. "Alan! Give those sunglasses back to Tin Tin."

Alan stopped. "But… I'm bored! Scott's working on something he calls important with Father; Virgil has locked his door and says he's composing, and Gordon is doing boring laps in the pool."

"That's no reason to go and bother Tin Tin, especially not steal her things."

For a moment Alan looked like he was not going to comply, but then he turned around. As Tin Tin stumbled out of the bushes, she almost crashed into the one she was chasing, as he held out the subject for which she was chasing him.

Kyrano gave John a pointed look, to which John just shrugged.

"Here you go. Sorry I bothered you and took your sunglasses." Alan said.

The angry look on Tin Tin's face was replaced by a look of utter surprise, her jaw hanging open. Kyrano chuckled, which in turn surprised Alan. It wasn't often that Kyrano showed any more evidence of amusement than a small smile.

Tin Tin quickly took the sunglasses. "Thank you." She was about to walk away, when she thought of something, her angry mood totally vanished. "Say, Alan, do you want to go and play Rummikub®?"

Alan's face lit up. "Yeah! John, do you want to come and play too?"

"Sure. Last time I'll be able to win from you." John smiled. "Kyrano, do you want to join as well?"

Now it was Kyrano's turn to be pleasantly surprised. "Why, yes. I will continue with the garden after lunch."

It wasn't often that someone invited him for a drink or a talk. Sometimes he wondered whether the rest of the family saw him as more than just a servant. They greeted him when they met him; they sometimes asked for the location of something or someone; not much else. And now John had surprised him by inviting him for a game. It wiped away the doubts…for the moment.

Kyrano realised he had been standing in the same position for over a minute. Tin Tin and Alan had already run off to set up the game. John squeezed his shoulder softly. "Are you OK? I didn't mean to surprise you beyond response." Kyrano smiled as he heard both the concern and the amusement in the young man's voice. Kyrano was once again reminded of the perceptiveness of the blond man.

"I am not unable to answer, young Mr. Tracy. I was merely thinking." Kyrano smiled, aware of the fact that John had a pretty good idea of the Malaysian's insecurities. He silently thanked the boy for his thoughtfulness. "Now, I believe we have a game to play?"

John nodded. "Let's win some games." He looked at Kyrano with a warning expression. "And don't even think about letting Tin Tin win."

Kyrano smiled one of his rare full smiles. "I wouldn't dare. And you should not let any of us win!"

John grinned playfully. "As if I could."

_End of Flashback_

If he remembered correctly, Tin Tin had won, John and Alan had tied, and Kyrano had lost. Not that he minded, on the contrary, he had intensely enjoyed the game, but up till this day, he wasn't sure whether John had held back or not. And he would not find out either.

They had said goodbye back then. But it had been a different goodbye compared to how it was now.

At age 18, John was only supposed to be gone for three months before coming for a visit. Everyone had known he was going to leave; everyone had said their 'goodbyes' and 'see-you-laters'.

This time no-one had known John was going to 'leave'. Not even John himself. Well, all right. John had known at some point. So had Scott, minutes later.

Scott had been the only one able to say goodbye. But had it been in time? Had John heard it? They would not know.

Kyrano sighed. He had lost a good friend. He had lost one of the people who had treated him like an intelligent human being right from the start. Well, everyone had been a bit wary of him when he first came to the island, John included. Jeff had been welcoming of course, as he had been the one to actually offer Kyrano the place to stay. But the rest of the family had been cautious.

However, after a while John had accepted him, and treated him as he treated everyone on the island. Scott and Virgil had taken some more time but then had accepted him in the same way as John had. Gordon had been 9 at that time, and Alan had only been 8. Those two had been just children. They had however welcomed Tin Tin better than he had expected. He had expected the boys to react in disgust at the thought of a girl in their company, as many boys start to do at that age. And they did. But it only lasted for two minutes. Then they found out that Tin Tin liked to play with toy cars as much as they did.

Kyrano grinned slightly as he remembered the three kids, playing in the sand with their cars. Only worried about whether their 'Big Brothers' wouldn't come and annoy them.

Now their worries had become more serious. Kyrano felt sad, not only for himself, but also for the 'children'. They had lost their innocence all too soon. They had hardly had the time to be naïve, as most children their age had been. But they had overcome the big losses of their childhood successfully. And now they were confronted with yet another loss. Would his 'family' be able to pull themselves through this tragedy as well? He hoped so. He prayed that it would be so. He himself would get through this too.

Together, as a family, they would get through this as well. But would it ever be the same as before?

A great loss. A loss of the scarce remaining innocence. A loss of a friend, grand child, son, brother, and husband.

_

* * *

A/N: well… I don't have much to add… actually, don't have anything to add. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Stay tuned! - zeilfanaat_


	13. Tin Tin's POV

Chapter 13: Tin Tin's POV

_A/N: Well, here it is, finally. Tin Tin's point of view. I'm sorry it took so long. It turned out I had real trouble getting into her 'head', understanding her. And that makes writing someone's point of view rather difficult. Many thanks go to my friend Dewi, who has helped me understand the Malaysian girl. Not many chapters left to go now. We're nearing the end. Thanks to all who reviewed. And thanks to white rose01 for beta-reading._

_**IloveSam –** Thanks for the wonderful review! I'm glad you liked Kyrano's point of view. At first I thought that would be the most difficult one to figure out, as we hardly see him in the TV-series, but somehow that went quite well. It was his daughter I had the most problems with. ;) About pregnancy and space, well, I did some research, but it turns out the 'experts' don't know for sure either. Most pregnant people (who know they are pregnant), don't fly just in case. In the military of the US pregnant people are 'grounded', but that's the best I could dig up. As for John having survived… well, you could keep hoping, but well… I'm not sure whether it's of any use. /I'm mean, I'm mean, and I don't care/ ;) Thanks for the review, and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too._

_**Fried Eeyore –** Heya, I hope you're doing better now. Thanks for the review. I also hope your beta reader has gotten over it. ;) I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!_

_**White rose01 –** Internet problems… yuck! Thanks, I enjoyed writing from Kyrano's POV, so I'm glad you liked it. And well, you didn't have this chapter all that soon, but you already knew that. ;)_

_**Gismo –** Hey! That's ok. I have the same problem sometimes. Thanks for the compliment! And Rummikub… yes, well, I play it often with my grandmother and with my cousin. (Last holiday my cousin and I have played 'only' about 5 games a day… on average that is.) I don't know whether other people from around the world know it, but it's Jewish from origin, if I'm not mistaken. Oh well, thanks for the review, here's Tin Tin's POV._

_**Rachie Tracy –** Hi, thanks for the review! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter too!_

_And that was it for the reviews. I hope you'll all enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

The black-haired woman sat at the corner of her bed, perched against two walls. Her sobs had ceased. She was now just staring in front of her. She heard her father's soft footsteps stop at her door. She willed him to move away. He did. The door to the room next to hers opened and closed. Then the silence returned.

Wrapping her arms around her knees she tried to think of anything but today. Today just didn't exist. Today had yet to come. Alan would go to Thunderbird 5 in a few hours. Scott would return home _with_ John. Grandma would bustle around her second-eldest grandson, muttering that he was too pale and too thin.

John, long since used to his grandma's behaviour, would lovingly comment, eat something, and then refuse more. Grandma would continue muttering, but this time satisfied, even though she tried to hide it. After all, if John ever ate slightly more than usual, it was when Josie would cook at his homecoming. But for the rest he never ate more than he needed. He would never be fat.

Fat. Suddenly she thought back to the time when _she_ thought she was fat.

_Flashback:_

"Father!" The young woman yelled, standing in front of her mirror. The Malaysian man hurried to his daughter's room.

"What's wrong, Dear?"

"I'm fat."

"What do you mean? You're not fat." Kyrano said surprised, looking over his daughter's body, not an ounce of fat in sight.

"I am. Look at me."

"I just did. I only see my beautiful daughter, who is so much like her mother. You have a perfect… how do you say… shape?"

"You're only saying that because you're my father. You're not objective."

Kyrano looked at her uncertainly. "What is 'objective'?"

"Ehm… it eh, it means that you can give an opinion without letting it being influenced by any positive or negative feelings that already existed before your opinion was asked… At least that's what I think it means. So you can't give an objective answer, 'cause you're my father, so you're bound to say nice things to me."

Kyrano still looked slightly puzzled. "But, it is not an opinion, it is a fact that you are not fat. To state a fact you do not need to be objective, do you?"

Tin Tin looked disconcerted. "Eh… well… You've been talking to John too much!"

"As long as you know, I would still love you, no matter whether you were thick or thin." Kyrano turned around and left the room at his easy pace.

Later that day, during lunch, Tin Tin reached for the sugar, stopped halfway and sipped her tea without sugar. Gordon, who was sitting next to her, noticed.

"Hey, I thought you always had two lumps of sugar in your tea?"

Tin Tin grimaced in disgust as she tasted the tea. "Yes, I usually do. And it's disgusting without sugar."

"Then why don't you put sugar in your tea?" Gordon asked in wonder.

"Because I'm fat, and I should lose weight."

Gordon eyes became as large as saucers. "I beg your pardon! Did you just say you think you're fat and should lose weight?"

"Yes."

"Why! You're so thin you could fit into my pants twice!"

Tin Tin looked at him. "That's not saying anything Gordon!"

Gordon looked down at himself. "What? What's wrong? What did I say? Did you just imply _I_ am fat?"

"No, not fat necessarily. But you're broader than I am… lucky me! I would really be fat if I would be broader than you!"

Gordon looked at her, unable to follow her train of thoughts, so he just shook his head and let her be. However Virgil had heard the conversation. Some time after lunch he followed Tin Tin to the swimming pool.

"Hey, Tin Tin."

"Yes?" She started to put off her clothes, underneath which she had her bathing suit.

"I eh, I picked up your conversation with Gordon during lunch, and eh. You're not thick. Or fat. Or overweight. You're how you should be."

"You're just saying that to be nice." Virgil raised his eyebrows.

"Eh, no. I'm saying that because it's true."

"Not, 'cause then you would be saying I am right, and that I should lose weight!"

"What kind of reasoning is that?"

"Mine."

"Eh… right. OK. I'll eh, see you later." With a confused look, Virgil turned around woodenly and walked back inside the house. 'Women.'

When Tin Tin climbed out of the swimming pool after some time spent swimming laps, she went to her room. On her way there she met Alan, who immediately joined her, still oblivious to her newest obsession. They entered the room and Alan closed the door behind him and went to embrace Tin Tin. However, the Malaysian girl turned away. Baffled, Alan asked her: "What's wrong?"

"How can you like me?"

His eyes bulged. "What do you mean? I love you."

"How can you? How can you love someone as fat as me?"

Alan started to laugh uncertainly. "You're kidding right? I'd rather encourage you to eat more!" From her expression however, he could deduce she was not joking.

"What in the world makes you think you're fat!"

"If you'd look, you'd see!"

Alan smiled and opened his arms again to embrace her. "What I see is the beautiful woman who I love. And I'd love you even if you were the most ugly person in the world!"

At this Tin Tin looked at him angrily. "You think I'm ugly!"

"No! No! I didn't say _that_! I said 'even if', not that you are! I'm just saying I'd like you no matter how you look! But you're not ugly, and you're not fat!"

"I don't believe you!"

Alan sighed. "How can I convince you?"

"You can't! Please leave!"

Frustrated, Alan left the room. He met up with Scott and told the story. Scott nodded. He had heard Virgil and Gordon talk about it already.

"Do you know how to convince her?" Alan asked. Scott shrugged helplessly.

"I have no clue."

"But you're the one with the most experience with women."

Scott swallowed uncomfortably. "Well, yeah, maybe, but ehm, they never had this kind of… problem. And it weren't _that_ many women!"

"Oh great, no help from you either then. What should we do!"

"Maybe it'll be over by tomorrow?"

Alan looked at his oldest brother doubtfully. "You think?"

"I don't know. It could be."

"OK, we'll wait for tomorrow."

And so they waited for eleven days. By that time everyone was fed up with Tin Tin and her latest obsession. Finally Alan decided to call John. After that he really didn't know what to do.

"Hey John." He said, as soon as he saw his older brother. John looked surprised to see him. Alan didn't usually call John. "Hey Alan, what's up?"

"Have you heard about Tin Tin and her 'I-am-fat-obsession'?"

"A little. Why?"

"Well, she's been whining about it for days now, and we just can't convince her that she's not."

Alan told John how they had attempted to convince her. When he was finished John was silent for a while, pondering over something.

"So, she won't accept your answers when you tell her she's _not_ fat?"

"No. We're at the end of our rope here, John. No one knows what to do or say anymore. She's hardly eating, swimming and training a _lot._" John nodded.

"Do you know _anything?_" Alan asked desperately. John slowly nodded.

"I think I have an idea, but let me work it out first. Do you think you can manage another three days, just until the end of my rotation."

Alan nodded. "For once I'm looking forward to it!"

John chuckled. "That's a first. Hang in there, bro. Help's on its way."

"Thanks John! You've just made my day."

"I haven't even done anything yet!"

"That must show how desperate we are. Just the idea of a 'possible' solution cheers us up immensely."

The older of the two men grinned. "I'll see you in three days."

"Bye John! Oh! Wait, is there still enough chocolate up there?"

John rolled his eyes. "Alan. Do you remember how much you stacked up here?"

Alan nodded. "Well, I didn't take anything from it, so everything is still there. _Please_ don't take any more! I already had to put the temperature slightly down in order to make sure the chocolate doesn't melt! And here's a hint: bring warm pyjamas and thick socks!"

The ex-racer chuckled. "I'll keep it in mind!"

They broke the connection. John worked out the idea that had sprung to mind, and half an hour later he called Virgil. He would need his help in this.

* * *

Three days later Alan relieved John on Thunderbird 5, although for Alan it felt more as if John was relieving _him_ from Tin Tin. Alan especially had been the target of Tin Tin's anger.

On the way back to Tracy Island, Scott tried to get John to tell his plan, but John just kept silent and told him in no uncertain terms he would tell him when the brothers were all together. Scott was annoyed. He had already tried to get Virgil to spill the beans, but Virgil insisted he didn't know the whole plan either.

They arrived at Tracy Island, and within an hour John had gathered his brothers and his grandmother into his room, Alan also present through a family painting on the wall.

"Well, I suppose you all know that I have a plan for Tin Tin's…'situation'. I can imagine you're not sure why Grandma is here. Neither is she. But I need her in on the plan in order for it to work. Now, as for the plan itself…"

* * *

During dinner Tin Tin wasn't aware of the excitement in the air. Grandma, who had tried to put large portions of the meal on Tin Tin's plate lately, only put a tiny bit on her plate this time. Tin Tin was surprised at first, but then thought that maybe Grandma had finally accepted that she really was thick. She wanted to take a piece of bread with it, but Gordon, who sat next to her again, beat her to it, and put the tray with bread out of her reach. When Tin Tin looked at him, he shrugged.

"You can't have that. You're too fat." Tin Tin blinked, as did Jeff and Kyrano. The last two were about to say something about it when they caught the wink John sent their way. The two men looked at each other in puzzlement but decided to keep silent for the moment.

Continuously during the meal, whenever Tin Tin reached for something to eat, someone would take it from her and say something about that she shouldn't eat it if she wanted to lose weight. Tin Tin was getting irritated, but tried not to let it show. They were finally agreeing with her, and while this should have made things easier, she was surprised it only annoyed her.

After two days, about two hours before dinner, John went to find Tin Tin, wearing his trunks and a towel hanging around his neck. He knocked on her door and she opened it, expecting her father now that Alan was in Thunderbird 5.

"John! What's up?"

"Oh, I was wondering. You look a little… chubby, so I decided to ask you to join me on my laps. You could use the exercise."

Tin Tin's jaw almost fell open, but she recovered just in time. "Eh, yeah, sure. Thanks." 'I think.'

John nodded. "I'll see you in five minutes at the swimming pool then."

Tin Tin could only nod. What was up with those people? They had kept denying her more food than she was given by Grandma, which was strangely little. They kept saying she was really fat or thick and she should do something about it, and more of those things. And now even John said she looked thick. If he noticed after being home only for two days, it must be really bad. But it wasn't _that _bad, was it?

As she closed the door, she didn't see the satisfied smile that crossed John's features. The blond man nodded at his artistic brother as he passed him in the corridor, and Virgil immediately disappeared to his room.

John swam endless laps, and was able to get Tin Tin to continue with him all the way, even though John was used to swim many laps, while Tin Tin usually stopped long before him. Finally, when John saw Tin Tin was getting quite tired, he called it quits and walked her to her room. The Malaysian nodded and said a weary "Thank you".

She closed the door and turned around, but as she did this she caught herself in the mirror. And there, looking back at her was a very realistic painting of herself in her swimming gear. However, this 'Tin Tin' was really fat. It looked so ridiculous that Tin Tin started giggling. She was still giggling when she heard a knock on her door. She opened it with a smile and somehow wasn't surprised to find Scott, John, Virgil and Gordon there, all smiling at her.

"You guys are weird." She smiled. "Come in."

They all walked into her room and Scott turned to Tin Tin. "You of course know by now that the comments we've made the past few days, are rubbish." Gesturing to the painting he said: "This is what you perhaps would look like if you were fat. But that's not how you look." Virgil took away the painting, and put it next to the mirror. "You look great as you are."

Tin Tin smiled, realising she had been greatly exaggerating. "Thanks guys. Virgil, I really hope I'll never look like that, no matter how well you've painted it."

Virgil smiled and nodded. Then Tin Tin turned towards John, who had been silent so far, but stood against the wall with a satisfied grin, towel again around his neck.

"And you, John. I'm never going to join you with swimming anymore! I thought Gordon was bad!"

Everyone chuckled. "Well, I must admit, I did train a lot with Gordon. But Gordon is still worse, don't worry. He may swim less laps, but he swims faster."

Tin Tin grinned. "OK, OK, you're not all that bad."

"Great, why am I the bad guy here?" Gordon grumbled good-naturedly.

"That would be because you are, Copperhead," came the reply from Scott's direction. Gordon glared at Scott. But it wasn't Scott's voice that had said it. Virgil grinned. "It's from the watch!" Scott looked at his watch, and indeed, there he was. Scott looked quickly up at Gordon, before looking back at his youngest brother. "I'm roughly translating here, but this message comes from Gordon." Immediately Scott glared at Alan, and everyone burst out in laughter. Then Tin Tin clapped in her hands to get everyone's attention.

"I'm sorry for the last two weeks. I must have been a pain in the neck for you guys to resort to this kind of tactic. My apologies for that. And now, I want a decent meal!"

_End of Flashback_

Later Alan had told her it had been John's idea, and she had gone to John to thank him again. He had waved it off, saying it was alright. In his exact words: "You're as close to me as a sister could be. And that means we help each other out, when it's necessary."

His words echoed through her mind. No one could help John out now. Not anymore.

This wasn't right. Hadn't this family suffered enough yet? The Tracy-family had already lost Lucille. And now they had also lost the brother that was most like their mother. It wasn't right. And Nicole…poor soul. She must feel terrible. To have lost her husband to her own rescue. Suddenly Tin Tin's heart chilled. She could lose Alan too. Of course, they had talked about it before. Everyone knew the risks of their involvement with International Rescue. But this brought it all home. Suddenly the risks weren't so intangible. They were real. Very real.

_

* * *

A/N: And that's it for now. We're nearing the end now!_


	14. Revelations

Chapter 14:

_A/N: Hi everyone! A few weeks ago I managed to write down the rest of this story… on paper. Only last week I managed to get it on the computer and sent off to my fantastic beta-reader, **white rose01**. So, here is chapter 14. I know for a fact now that this story goes up to chapter 15, as it's also written. Yes, you read it correctly. Chapter 15 is the very last chapter of this story. It has taken me only, oh, about a year and a half or so? ;) Thanks to everyone who's reading._

_**Fried Eeyore – **I hope you're doing OK now. Thanks for the compliment! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, hopefully without tears. Good luck with everything._

_**Gismo – **Heya, how're you doing? Thanks for the review! I'm very glad I have Tin-Tin's chapter finished. But then, I'm very glad I finally finished this story. I enjoyed writing it, but it was annoying sometimes to not have time, and when I did have time, I had a writer's block… when it came to this story that is. :p __Anyway, thanks again. Hope you'll enjoy, and good luck with whatever you're doing._

_**White rose01 – **Thanks! Yes, I was SO glad I had /that/ chapter finished. Oh well… By now you know the end is very close. Thanks again for everything!_

* * *

Nicole entered the room where Jeff was working furiously, trying to work himself into oblivion.

"Father. Dinner's ready." She looked at him hesitantly.

"I'll be right there." Jeff said, not looking up.

"Ehm, Father?"

This time Jeff caught the uncertain tone in his daughter-in-law's voice and looked up. "Yes?"

Nicole noticed his red rimmed eyes. Probably everyone in the family had them.

"I ehm…" She fell silent, not knowing how to tell him. Jeff stood up and walked around the desk, put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"What is wrong? Oh, stupid question. I'm sorry." Jeff looked away.

"No, no, that's not it. Well, it is, but not…this. I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense."

Jeff felt his father-instincts rise. "What is it, Dear?"

Nicole took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that had threatened to spill from her eyes as she once again thought about John.

"Father, you know John and I were here six weeks ago?"

The Tracy patriarch looked at her surprised, but nodded nonetheless.

"Well, ehm… I…" Nicole took a deep breath. "You're going to be grandfather."

Jeff blinked and continued to stare at the dark-haired woman before him, who looked decidedly nervous.

"I beg your pardon?"

Nicole looked aside. "I'm pregnant."

"You… you're pregnant?" Jeff asked, stunned. Nicole nodded and bit her lip.

"But… but…that's wonderful!" The greying man hugged the surprised woman tightly. "Are you OK with it though?" Jeff suddenly asked, realising what it all meant. Nicole let out a sigh of relief.

"Yes. I am!" The look in her eyes reinforced her answer, relieving Jeff of his immediate worries.

"Good. Did you tell anyone else? How long did you know? Is the baby alright? Did you see a doctor? …Doe-did John know?" Jeff had to pause to take a breath, which Nicole immediately took advantage of.

"I only found out myself today. And I haven't told anyone else. Grandma's the one who suggested I took a pregnancy test, but she doesn't know the result yet. …John didn't know." Again the tears appeared, and Nicole wiped them away angrily.

"Oh, honey. I'm so very sorry." He hugged her tightly. They stood like that for a few minutes, before Nicole pulled back slightly.

"I suppose we should go and have dinner before it gets cold."

"No, we'll first get Brains to examine you. I'll tell Mother, you go on ahead to the infirmary." Nicole nodded, recognising his tone, knowing arguing was futile.

* * *

"Mother." Jeff said, as soon as he entered the unusually quiet dining room. Anything else he might have felt compelled to say was cut short.

"Jefferson Tracy. I raised you better than to be late for dinner. Now, 'fess up. What's your excuse?"

"I just sent Nicole up to the infirmary. Brains," he said, redirecting his gaze, "could you please go there too?"

Brains immediately stood up from his chair. "C-c-certainly Mr. Tracy."

The rest of the occupants of the room exchanged worried glances.

"Father? Is something wrong with Nicole?" All four brothers shifted slightly uncomfortably in their chairs, feeling guilty for not checking up on Nicole.

"We don't know yet." Jeff answered. "You boys just wait here." He said as he left the room once again. Josie sat back in her chair at the table head, the wooden spoon still in her hand.

"Yes, you young men stay here and have dinner while it's still warm. We'll heat it up for them later."

The boys grumbled, not pleased they had to stay here while something might be wrong with their 'sister' who had just turned widow. But Grandma was nothing if not strict, so they complied, albeit reluctant. Kyrano and Tin Tin had remained quiet. Not that Kyrano usually talked a lot, as he was still not completely used to sitting at the same table at the same time as his 'master'.

The Malaysian did however note the knowing expression on Josie's wrinkled face, feeling reassured that whatever might be wrong with the young woman, was not of great urgency. Quietly he waited for everyone else to have filled their plates before taking some food himself. Dinner continued in silence.

* * *

Brains had entered the infirmary, unsure what to expect.

"Hi Brainies, how are you doing?" Nicole asked wearily, using the nickname she had picked for Brains.

"Ehm, I-I-I'm fine. B-but how are y-you?"

"I'm OK." She said, avoiding his eyes, instead focusing on a lose thread of her sweater. Brains frowned.

"Th-then why are you eh here?"

Now Nicole lifted her eyes to meet his, surprising him as he saw a whirlwind of mixed emotions in the brown orbs.

"I… I wanted to know whether there could be any… lasting effects from space travel…" Her eyes strayed back to the lose thread. Brains pushed his glasses back up from the point where they had slipped to the tip of his nose.

"Wh-why would there be a-any effects? You've never h-had any problems, have you?"

"No, but… I'm pregnant."

Brains blinked. And he blinked again. Then he whispered: "You… you're pregnant?"

Nicole nodded, looking at Brains directly, tears shimmering close to the surface. It took Brains two seconds to shed his stupor and cross the remaining gap between them. Carefully he put a hand on her shoulder. For the briefest moment her body went rigid, then she slumped, leaning against the bed.

"Brains, I need to know. Will my baby be ok?"

"There shouldn't be any side effects, but how about we check to be sure. You… we're all going through an emotional rollercoaster right now." Brains said softly.

Nicole sat down on the bed, allowing Brains to examine her. After approximately twenty minutes, Brains was sitting behind one of the computer consoles, and Nicole was sitting on the bed, her head leaning back against the wall, and her eyes closed.

Only when she heard a chair move, did she open her eyes. She found Brains hovering over her with a grin lighting his face. "Your baby is just fine. I checked the scans, I checked your blood work, I've covered everything I can think of right now. There is nothing out of place."

Nicole closed her eyes as she let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't known she was holding. "Thank goodness. I wouldn't know what I would have done if…"

The tears finally won the battle. Brains held her hand, drawing small circles on her hand, hoping it would comfort her somewhat. But his mind was racing.

It was all a lot to take in. One of his best friends had died that day because of a leak in an oxygen flask, and now the wife of said friend found out she was pregnant. The last twenty minutes he had tried to put things into perspective, but it was hard. One moment Brains felt worn down, thinking about John, the next moment he was happy for the new life, and yet… this child had to grow up without a father, and John would never get to hold his kid or watch him or her grow up. Right now Brains' heart went out to the woman whose hand he was holding now. If _he_ was confused, he couldn't imagine what Nicole was going through. But he did know one thing: he would be there for her, and her child.

Jeff opened the door to the infirmary quietly. He had given Brains and Nicole enough time to go over the examination, but now he wanted, no, needed to know for himself.

"Well?" Jeff asked, as the two other people looked up.

"The baby is f-f-fine, as far as I can see, Mr. Tracy. N-no problems at this st-st-stage." Brains stuttered. Jeff allowed a grin to spread over his face as he put a hand on Nicole's shoulder.

"Congratulations."

Nicole nodded in acceptance. "Now, the rest of the family is anxious to find out why I asked Brains to examine you. I didn't know whether you wanted me to tell them, or tell them yourself."

"I'll tell them myself. And I guess we should go join them before they eat everything out of worry."

Both men chuckled, knowing the truth that statement harboured.

Once the three entered the kitchen, five heads immediately snapped up. Kyrano and Grandma raised their heads at a more controlled manner. There was no need to aggravate any old muscles or bones any more than they had to.

"Are you OK?" Scott asked Nicole concerned, pulling out the empty chair next to him.

"Yes, thank you." Nicole said softly.

"Why were you in the sickbay?" Gordon asked, slightly less worried now that his sister-in-law was joining them at the dinner table. Nicole took a deep breath and looked around the table, holding Grandma's eyes for a moment, before finding a spot on the wall opposite.

"Well… I'm going to have a baby."

Tin Tin shrieked. "Oh, congratulations! My goodness, that's wonderful! When are you due?"

Scott looked at Nicole shell-shocked.

"You… you're pregnant? With J- John's baby?" he swallowed.

"Yes." The answer was merely a whisper, and yet it carried the load of mixed feelings. Scott nodded. Suddenly he cheered.

"Wow. Nicole, that is just amazing."

"How long have you known?" Virgil asked gently.

"Just for a few hours now."

"She told me as she came to call me for dinner." Jeff supplied.

"Is that why you came to get Brains? Are you, both, healthy?" Virgil asked again. Nicole nodded as she looked around.

Scott seemed slightly shocked, but overall happy at the news. Virgil too had taken it well. Tin Tin was ecstatic. Grandma and Kyrano were sending her approving and encouraging smiles, and she already knew Jeff and Brains' feelings on the matter. That left the youngest two. She glanced over at them.

Gordon seemed far away, contemplating, but once he noticed her eyes on him he nodded and sent her a smile. He needed time to think, but he'd support and help her in any way he could.

An angry remark interrupted her thoughts.

"How dare you!"

"Alan!" Jeff warned, caught off guard.

"How dare you! Isn't it enough that he died prematurely! Isn't he missing out on enough already! Do you really want to add more to that? Do you really want your child, _John's_ child, to grow up without his father?"

"Alan. Enough!" Jeff bellowed. Allan clamped his mouth shut, glared at Nicole one last time and stomped out of the room. Scott put a hand on Nicole's arm.

"I'm sorry. I'll go talk to him." He stood up, but Nicole stopped him.

"No, I think I should talk to him."

"You sure?" Scott asked, not entirely convinced.

"Yes."

"But first: dinner." Grandma said sternly, not taking no for an answer.

* * *

There was a soft knock on Alan's door. When met with silence, Nicole carefully opened the door. The blond man sat with his back to the door, the curtains closed as the sun was setting. The lights in the room were dimmed.

"Go away." Alan grumbled. Nicole hesitated.

"I will, if you really want me to, but we need to talk. And we will, one time or another. Your choice."

Silence was her answer, but Nicole waited patiently.

"Fine." Alan mumbled. Nicole nodded unconsciously, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind her. She approached the bed where Alan was sitting on. Again she hesitated. Should she sit or remain standing?

"You can sit you know." Alan said gruffly.

"Thank you." She sat down next to him, enough distance between them as to not invade each other's private space, but close enough. After a while, Nicole broke the silence.

"I'm sorry you lost your brother." In her mind she suddenly remembered she still had to tell Ben, her younger brother. Alan sighed.

"Yeah… I'm sorry you lost your husband."

"Alan… what you said during dinner, -"

"Forget it. I shouldn't have said it."

"Oh, but I think you have the right to ask those questions. I asked them myself too."

Surprised, Alan looked up. "Wh, what?"

"Yes. I have just lost my husband. He died because he exchanged his oxygen flask for my faulty one, and then I find out I'm pregnant with his child. Believe me, I wasn't sure at first whether I wanted the child. I'd be alone, no husband, which itself scares me to the core. I'd have to raise our child all by myself. The thing that scares me most, is if I'll be able to raise John's child by myself."

Nicole looked up from her hands. "And then I realised. John would want to have this child. He'd want me to have this child. We've talked about children before, so I know how he feel-felt about it. But as long as we remember him, he'll be alive. In our hearts." She fell silent, tears brimming in her eyes as she looked at Alan directly.

"Alan. John and I have always wanted children. Now that John's… gone, this child is the greatest gift I can wish for."

She felt the bed dip slightly, and an arm circled her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Nicole. Please forgive me. I know this is what John and you have wanted for some time. It's just… well, John and I haven't spend that much time together, because most of the time one of us was in Thunderbird 5. I feel like I missed out on so much… I'm also sorry for treating you the way I did. In a way, I… blamed you for John's d-death. But I know he wouldn't have it any other way, if this was how he could save you, or any of us for that matter. And he would kick my ass for treating you like this. He'd probably chase me all over the world for even thinking of accusing you."

This elicited a small chuckle from Nicole, though the tears were still rolling over her cheeks. She noticed Alan's eyes looked slightly red too.

"As for your child… I'm sure you'll be a great mum. And, remember, you'll never be alone. You still have us. We'll never forget John…never."

Nicole sniffed. "Apologies accepted. And…thank you." Alan wiped a hand over his eyes. Nicole nodded at him with a small smile. "So, we're OK?"

"We're OK."

"Good. Then I'll be going for a bit." Nicole stood up.

"OK. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

A while after Nicole had left his room, Alan stood up quietly, and opened the curtains. In another part of the house, Nicole sat down on the couch in front of the window, curtains wide open.

Both looked at the sky John had loved so much, and as more and more twinkling orbs appeared, they grieved for him, and remembered their times together.

_

* * *

A/N: almost at the end now… keep your eyes open for the last chapter._


	15. Epilogue

Chapter 15: Epilogue

A/N: Thanks to all who have read this story. This is the last chapter. Massive thanks go out to **white rose01**, 'cause she's beta'd this story, for which I'm very grateful! And of course, thanks to all who have reviewed!

**Fried Eeyore – **Glad to hear about your family. As for the lonely Christmas, I'd say, try and remember the good times. But then, who am I to say. You know best for yourself. Thanks for the reviews! Was this soon enough? ;)

**Math Girl – **Thanks for the reviews and the support! As for the question of whether it's a boy or a girl, you'll just have to read this chapter. :)

**White rose01 – **Well, here it is. Very last chapter. Thank you so much, for the beta-ing, the reviews, the support. Really, I'm very glad you're there. :)

**MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! **

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Grandma sat at the kitchen table, resting her feet for a while. She had just finished doing the dishes. She had always been a very active woman, but lately her age seemed to catch up with her. In between her daily activities she now had to take small breaks. Not only did it give her time to get her breath back, but it also gave her time to think. 

It was almost two years ago since the family had suffered their latest loss, and just over a year since the first baby-wails were emitted on this island. She smiled, thinking back to the times when her grandchildren had been on holiday on their farm in Kansas. One memory especially came to mind.

_Flashback:_

Scott and John, the latter just able to walk, were puttering around the farm, but staying in the vicinity of the kitchen. Scott rolled a ball in John's direction, and John would crouch, pick up the ball in his slightly chubby hands, and release the object as he jerkily pushed himself upright again.

Grant was milking the cows in the cowshed. Josie had just finished feeding the chickens, and in between her daily chores, she would check up on Lucy and Virgil, all the while keeping an eye on the other two children. Jeff had managed to be at home when Virgil was born, but had had to return to the Air Force soon after.

Josie had immediately decided to bring Lucille to the farm. She shouldn't be at home alone, worrying about three young boys as she was recuperating from giving birth.

This morning, Grant had taken the two oldest boys to look at the animals, and the two had watched in fascination. Now Josie was preparing lunch, and she looked out of the open kitchen door to find that the boys had stopped playing with the ball.

Maddy, the old mutt, had walked into their game and had effectively ended it. Now the dog was lying on the ground, John was lying against her side, while Scott lay over Maddy's back with his hands under his head as he looked at the chickens that walked over the farmyard.

Josie smiled and pulled out a blanket out of a cabinet. Lucille had asked for another one, as the nights were becoming a bit colder. Josie put the blanket on the table, as she went to the fire place, poking the fire till it burned better. Oh, there was technology enough, but Grant and she liked to do things the 'old' way. Sure, she had a cooking-range and all that; she didn't cook on fire, but she loved the ambiance that had once hung in _her_ grandmother's house. Once the fire got going again, Josie went to call Grant first. When she was on her way back to the kitchen she noticed the boys and the dog had disappeared, but she figured they'd be in the kitchen. Those boys sure had a large stomach.

When she entered the kitchen, she was just in time to see that John had reached for the tip of the blanket, which had been hanging just off the edge of the table. As soon as John got hold of the blanket, the object dropped and cascaded all over a perplexed John who promptly ended up on his butt. For a moment the bundle remained still; then it began to move. Josie smiled to herself as she went to rescue her grandson, but she hadn't moved two steps, when his young face appeared, peering out from under the blanket. No sooner did John see his grandmother when a wet tongue covered his face.

"Mah-die!" John complained, trying to push the good-natured dog away. He only succeeded in pushing himself to the floor. The dog stopped 'welcoming' John, but still stood over him protectively. Josie looked up at the door to the hallway, where Scott was peering around the corner.

"Gwenmah!" John cried happily. Josie smiled at him and reached out to pull him from the tangled mess of blanket and dog. Scott edged into the kitchen, curious and a bit worried because he hadn't watched his little brother.

Josie motioned him over and hugged the both of them tightly. "There, now let's clean you two up before lunch."

_End of Flashback_

Yes, times had been good back then. Suddenly she felt the tea towel disappear from under her hand, and she looked at the table top, only to see the towel fall from the table. Carefully she bent forward and what she saw, made her chuckle.

There she was, the youngest member of the family, sitting on the floor. Her brown eyes peered confusedly from under the tea towel; her small arms held up to keep the towel from covering her face.

Grandma reached forward and gently pulled the towel up. Just then Gordon came racing in, looking around frantically. When he saw the child on the floor, he let out a sigh of relief, and a sheepish expression crossed his face.

"Thank goodness. Here she is. Nicole would have killed me… I ehm, kind of lost her. I didn't think she could move that fast yet!"

Josie smiled. "Ah, but she's just as curious and eager to find out the mysteries of the world as her father."

Gordon grinned. "Yup." He picked up the small girl and tousled her blond hair. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

With that he left the kitchen.

Josie sat back and looked out of the window, to the sky.

"Well John, you sure did your best to ensure we wouldn't forget about you. Ha! As if. Did a good job too. With this young girl around, you're never far away."

**

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The End **


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